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2000 Best Dad Jokes for Family Gatherings – Instant Icebreaker!

Need to lighten the mood at family events? These dad jokes are guaranteed to get eye rolls… and laughter! Save this list for your next reunion.

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avatar Blak9 19 day.agoA man goes to the doctor and says, “This has got to be the smallest doctor’s office I’ve ever seen.” The doctor replies..:
“Get lost, man..! I’m taking a crap..!”
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avatar God-2008 19 day.agoWhat part of the house has the most sex?
The door. It’s always pounded on
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avatar supervillainO7 19 day.agoWe used to have empires run by emperors. Then we had kingdoms run by kings...
Now we have countries run by cunts
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avatar OZFox42 19 day.agoA man met an attractive woman in a bar.
After a few drinks they went back to her place and had wild, passionate sex. "I guess that was just about the best sex you ever had," he said when they were done. "What makes you say that?" she asked. "Well," he replied, "While we were doing it, I couldn't help but notice how I made your toes curl." "Oh," she said, "That's because most men take off my pantyhose first."
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avatar Hashashin455 19 day.agoHow do skeletons have sex?
They just bone.
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avatar I_Say_Peoples_Names 19 day.agoWhat were Scooby Doo’s last words at his colonoscopy?
Rod rammit!!
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avatar NikolayChernyShevsky 19 day.ago-Misha, hi! We have some news for you. Bad and good. Which should I start with?
-Well, let's start with the bad one... -Do you remember your wife went missing last year? -Yes, I do. -Well, we found her. She drowned in a river... That's the bad news. -And what's the good news then? -Got a bucket of crawfish off her!
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avatar HornyJuulCat69420666 19 day.agoA Polite Metalhead meets a Jazz Elitist
The Metalhead asks: "Why are you so on edge all the time? So angry?" The Jazz Elitst replies with a sigh: "It's the lack of sax."
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avatar Omeganian 19 day.agoA nun rides in a train.
A lady enters and sits next to her, wearing a beautiful fur coat. **Nun**: What a beautiful coat! How much did it cost you? **Woman**: That? A night of love. Then, she takes off her gloves. A beautiful ring with an emerald sits on her finger. **Nun**: My, how much did that ring cost you? **Woman**: Three nights of love. Then, she takes off her coat. The nun sees a beautiful diamond necklace. **Nun**: Oh, my! How much did that beauty cost? **Woman**: Ten nights of love. Evening. The nun is back at the monastery, sitting in her room. Suddenly, there is a knock on the door. **Nun**: Who's there? **Male Voice**: It's me, Brother Andre. **Nun**: Shove off, Brother, both you and those lollipops of yours!
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avatar SionGest 20 day.agoNothing worse than, after sex, looking down and seeing that limp used condom hanging off your d***...
Particularly when you weren't wearing one when you started.
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