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avatar HornyJuulCat69420666 8 day.ago

A Polite Metalhead meets a Jazz Elitist

The Metalhead asks: "Why are you so on edge all the time? So angry?" The Jazz Elitst replies with a sigh: "It's the lack of sax."

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. A blind woman I slept with told me I had the biggest penis she’d ever seen.

Turned out she was just pulling my leg

2. The Great thing about living in Detroit is that after a nuclear attack.....

It will still look exactly the same.

3. Thanks for the eye doctor

From 40 or more years ago, in Readers' Digest (seemed a little racy for them): The great eye doctor saves the sight of the wealthy man's wife. The wealthy man commissions a mural by a famous artist on the doctor's office wall as a thank-you. It is revealed at a big ceremony, and depicts a huge eye covering the whole wall, with a likeness of the doctor standing in the middle. The press asks the doctor for his reaction. He replies "Thank god I'm not a gynecologist."

4. What do Christians and mice have in common?

Both love cheeses

5. What does a man with a vasectomy and a Christmas tree have in common?

Decorative balls

6. Know what my friend said before he died?

“Should I go with a red shirt or blue shirt?” And then he dyed.

7. Easter jokes (not PC)

It’s windy today, good thing Jesus is nailed down. What did they say to Jesus when he was carrying the cross? “Drop it one more time and you’re out of the parade.”

8. It's gonna be the worst joke you have seen today

What do you call an enormous telephone? a T-elephant

9. I went to the store to get some peas.

They were all out so I had to take an L.

10. NSFW So a squirrel goes out searching for nuts, he finds two of the biggest pair he's ever seen.

That's when I yelled out Oh Fuck!

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