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3000+ funny dad jokes good or bad here waiting for you. I tell dad jokes every day, sometimes dad laughs.

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avatar Starvest_GameDev 1 mon.agoDid you hear about the new study by the Institute of Unfinished Research?
They concluded that 7 out of 10 people
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avatar PhoenixAF24 1 mon.agoMy neighbor invited me over to see if I would mind if he planted a pear tree in his yard near our property dividing line. "It typically can grow up to 18-20 feet," he told me.
Confused, I asked him, "Why wouldn't you get one that grows pears instead?"
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avatar rk2602 1 mon.agoA man came up to me and said "Man, your clothes look gay".
I said "I know, they came out of the closet this morning".
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avatar BrandyAid 1 mon.agoMy girlfriend said I always avoid confrontation and act like a smartass.
I just replied „-273.15 °C“
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avatar RonPalancik 1 mon.agoWhich Hawaiian island has the most cats?
Meowy
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avatar MaxCWebster 1 mon.agoA naked man arrives at a costume party with a girl on his back. "I am a turtle," he says.
"Then what's on your back?" the host asks. "That's Michelle."
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avatar Make_the_music_stop 1 mon.agoAs I was driving past a prison yesterday, I saw a dwarf scaling down the wall.
Confused, I stared up at him and he just sneered back. And I thought to myself, "Well, that's a little condescending."
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avatar bishopgorman 1 mon.agoA friend of mine went to piloting school
He told me the instructor informed him that he was a 8th degree black-belt and a homosexual, and if my friend didn't submit to his sexual advances then he would have to jump off the plane. I asked my friend, "Did you jump?" and he said "Yeah.... A little at first." (Thank you Ron White for this classic joke)
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avatar houndoom92 1 mon.agoThe longest drum solo in history was 6 hrs 28 min
performed by a child sitting behind me on the flight to Toronto
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avatar CommonTater42 1 mon.agoA golfer asks a trainer if he can help him with his army golf and the trainer asks what is army golf?
It goes left. Left. Left right left.
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avatar GremlinKitty9 1 mon.agoDid you hear about the invisible gymnast?
They were very hard to spot.
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avatar Zhydrac 1 mon.agoHow do you grow tumbleweed?
Put cannabis into a clothes drier
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avatar gdacunto 1 mon.agoI started running and working out a bit more and I woke up this morning feeling a bit rough and told my wife “book a ticket to Jurassic park cus ya boys a sore-us.” 🦖
She laughed. The Home Depot theme played in the background. Solid start to the day.
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avatar jDubbaYo 1 mon.agoI told my therapist I had this weird feeling like I was only 1/5 of myself.
She said, “there’s your problem then: you’re two tenths.”
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avatar Joel_Boyens 1 mon.agoWhat do you call a calm swamp?
A marsh-mellow.
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avatar mellamoderek 1 mon.agoMorning text from dad
Dad: This morning in the wet grass in back yard I saw a frog with open - toad shoes. My reply: Are you sure it wasn't a croc? 🐊
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avatar TonyTwoDat 1 mon.agoI asked the surgeon if I could administer my own anesthesia.
He said, “Go ahead. Knock yourself out."
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avatar IllSubstance6927 1 mon.agoJake and Froya were arguing with each other. Jake presented professional evidence to back his claim. Froya ate her words.
>!'Thanks for waiting. I was a bit hungry." Then both of them continued their fight.!<
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avatar BusyPooping 1 mon.agoI was told that after a vasectomy, I wouldn’t have anymore kids.
When I got home, they were still there!
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avatar BusyPooping 1 mon.agoBilly The Kid is still my favorite artist.
He won so many drawing matches.
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