Mask_of_creator 3 day.agoThree men died and went to heaven.They were asked there how they all died.
The first man said: I was at work, when I got a phonecall from my neighbor. He said that he saw my wife allow a stranger into our house. I drove as fast as I could, searching our house, but I couldn't find anyone there, other than my wife. I got so mad at one point that I went into the kitchen, grabbed our fridge and threw it out the window. However, because of all that, my heart was beating so fast that I got a heart attack.
The second man said: Well, I was at home, just relaxing on a day off. Then I thought to myself "Man, today is such a beautiful day. Clear sky, warm, gentle wind. I will take my dog for a walk". So, I was walking with my dog, when I noticed a weird shadow underneath me. I thought that it must have been just a weird cloud, or something like that. I looked up and I saw a fridge falling right on me.
The third man then said: Well... I was peacefully sitting in a fridge.
Olympiano 3 day.agoThe Linguistic Civil WarThe periods tried to end it. Semicolons rallied disparate forces, and ampersands tried to bring everyone together. Parentheses huddled round the worried masses. Quotation marks established communications, and letters sent word back home. Commas just let it continue, especially the useless Oxford ones. Exclamation marks escalated the situation. Dashes made a run for it. The slashes were particularly violent, and were on both sides. Colons betrayed everyone, the assholes. When the SS came knocking at their door, the apostrophes didn’t know where to go. When the days were numbered, the assistance of numerals really counted for something.
It’s over now, and perpetrators sentenced. Question marks are organising the inquiry. But the ellipses say there’s more to come.