Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
Mask_of_creator 2 day.agoThey were asked there how they all died. The first man said: I was at work, when I got a phonecall from my neighbor. He said that he saw my wife allow a stranger into our house. I drove as fast as I could, searching our house, but I couldn't find anyone there, other than my wife. I got so mad at one point that I went into the kitchen, grabbed our fridge and threw it out the window. However, because of all that, my heart was beating so fast that I got a heart attack. The second man said: Well, I was at home, just relaxing on a day off. Then I thought to myself "Man, today is such a beautiful day. Clear sky, warm, gentle wind. I will take my dog for a walk". So, I was walking with my dog, when I noticed a weird shadow underneath me. I thought that it must have been just a weird cloud, or something like that. I looked up and I saw a fridge falling right on me. The third man then said: Well... I was peacefully sitting in a fridge.
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Shovel07
Them: "I meant any questions about the job"
God [creates dolphin]: Welcome! You can speak, and this is the alphabet! Dolphin: What the FUCK is that? God: That's an "E", but you have over twenty... Dolphins: I shall use this one and only this one. God: What? Why? Dolphin: Eeeeeee
the hippocampus
Pete.
They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about. For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover. In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside. She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted doilies and a stack of money totaling $25,000. He asked her about the contents. "When we were to be married," she said, "*my grandmother told me that the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doily.*" The little old man was so moved, he had to fight back tears. Only two precious doilies were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He said, "But what about all of this money? How did you manage to save all this money?" "Oh," she said, "that's the money I made from selling the doilies."
Rolling Rock
…It’s called Skydying.
So I punched him in the nose.
He opens the door and the man at the door says: "Howdy and welcome to the neighbourhood. I'm Billy and I'm your neighbour from the ranch up the road." "Well howdy." says Bob. "Nice to make your acquaintence.". Billy says: "I'm having a party this Saturday, starting around 8PM and I would love you to come so as to welcome you properly. There's going to be drinking. Fighting. And fucking. It'll be great fun.". "That does sound like fun, Billy." Says Bob. "What should I wear? Is there a dress code?". "Well," says Billy, "it don't matter. It's only going to be me and you.".
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