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2000 Best Dad Jokes for Family Gatherings – Instant Icebreaker!

Need to lighten the mood at family events? These dad jokes are guaranteed to get eye rolls… and laughter! Save this list for your next reunion.

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avatar RayoftheRaver 3 day.agoWe all know the chemical formula for water is H20
But when you give it to a dog it becomes K9P
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avatar Gil-Gandel 3 day.agof(x) walks into a bar
The bartender says "sorry, we don't cater for functions".
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avatar PhilipWaterford 3 day.agoWhat's the difference between a harbour and a port?
I couldn't eat an entire harbour but I could drink a nice port.
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avatar RibaldPancake 3 day.agoAfter the day's session at the annual meeting of SPUAH (Society for People of Under Average Height), many of the members, including Gimli, the Seven Dwarfs, and a few of Santa's elves, retired to a local bar for a few drinks.
Things were going well until it was time to pay the tab. Grumpy and Bashful collected money from the others, paid the bartender, then the group started to leave. The bartender discovered that they hadn't paid enough and yelled out, "Hey! You guys are short!", which, unfortunately, was misinterpreted. Thankfully, in the ensuing melee, little damage was done.
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avatar Speed_Alarming 3 day.agoWhich variety of Tea can you throw the furthest?
Hurl Grey
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avatar GamingCatGuy 3 day.agoWhat did the bovine do to apologize after it ate two of the farmer’s pies?
Cow-Tao
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avatar scardeal 3 day.agoTIL: To date no woman has run a 4 minute mile
I don't know of any woman who's had to run a mile to catch a guy.
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avatar greedydita 3 day.agoWhy are woman in physics more likely to have a threesome?
Because they've learned how to split an Adam.
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avatar Make_the_music_stop 3 day.agoBouncer: "I'm going to have to ask you to leave."
Me: "Why?" Bouncer: "I have no idea who you are and this is my trampoline."
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avatar ilikesidehugs 3 day.agoAt breakfast, my son asked, “Is Cap’n Crunch still alive?” I said, “No…he was pretty old.” Then he asked, “Did they cremate him, like grandpa?”
“No, son…he was berried.”
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