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3000+ funny dad jokes good or bad here waiting for you. I tell dad jokes every day, sometimes dad laughs.

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avatar Healthy_Ladder_6198 1 mon.agoDid you hear about the notebook who married a pencil?
She finally found Mr. Write.
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avatar Different-Cod6687 1 mon.agoI was asked to donate to help support the disabled.
I gave them a pair of crutches.
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avatar kwan_e 1 mon.agoI wanted to be a master of ceremonies, but the Canadian Village People talked me out of it.
They said: "Why MC, eh?"
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avatar Civil-Insurance8668 1 mon.agoWhat does making love to your wife and going to the movies have in common?
It seems to annoy you when I open my bag of chips
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avatar BrandyAid 1 mon.agoWhy did we spend millions inventing stamps instead of using coins directly?
Because no one wanted to make a lick-off cents.
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avatar wtb1000 1 mon.agoWhy are French people so healthy?
Because to the French bread is pain.
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avatar KingsOFcalamity 1 mon.agoWhat does a wounded duck and an addict with a lisp have in common?
They're trying their hardest to score quack!
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avatar Healthy_Ladder_6198 1 mon.agoA man showed up for a duel armed only with a pencil and paper.
He then proceeded to draw his weapon
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avatar Healthy_Ladder_6198 1 mon.agoI’m about to start a sketch of Shakespeare and I’m undecided about which pencil to use…
2B or not 2B
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avatar MaCk_Pinto 1 mon.agoI once asked a friend to borrow a blade for me to sharpen my pencil with...
He told me to ask wesley snipes
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avatar fl_oating_mess 1 mon.agoWhat’s the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?
The taste
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avatar Ahmed_Almaddah 1 mon.agoWhat do shampoo and guns have in common?
Both are used to treat head problems.
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avatar ash_got_stash 1 mon.agoIf DJ is Dad Joke, then what is D + iJ?
Complex Dad Joke. If you didn't find that funny that's because the joke part was imaginary.
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avatar Mowo5 1 mon.agoI asked the duck if I could pet him on the back.
He said he was down.
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avatar mmfn0403 1 mon.agoAnother classic from my family
Context: I have a very strong resemblance to my mother’s side of the family. All my life I’ve been getting comments from maternal side relatives about how like I am to my mother and grandmother. Anyway, one time my two maternal aunts were visiting. One of them looked at me and sighed, “You have your granny’s skin.” Then she started to giggle and said, “Give it back.”
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avatar Left-Distribution-13 1 mon.agoI used to be addicted to soap...
but I'm clean now.
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avatar docvoit 1 mon.agoWhat's the difference between a straight rodeo and a gay rodeo?
One fan base yells "Ride them suckers!"
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avatar Not_Ban_Evading69420 1 mon.agoI think it's messed up that when teens watch porn, it's of full grown adults
I think we should create age-appropriate porn, so it feels more normal to them...Oh. Oh no. What have I done??
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avatar DumplingsOrElse 1 mon.agoI have a friend who thinks that when he dies, he will turn into water vapor.
I told him he will be mist.
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avatar scardeal 1 mon.agoSome people stir to the north. Some people stir to the south. Some people stir to the west.
As for me, though, I'd prefer east stir.
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