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3000+ funny dad jokes good or bad here waiting for you. I tell dad jokes every day, sometimes dad laughs.

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avatar f41ryb0n3s777 27 day.agowhat did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
supplies!!
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avatar GiborDesign 27 day.agoIt's hard to resist, singing "The Lions Sleeps Tonight".
Because it's always just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away...
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avatar thunderbird89 27 day.agoI did one of those genetic tests, and they called me to tell my my DNA was reversed.
I was like "AND?"
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avatar Ok_Zombie_8354 27 day.agoWhat is 5q + 5q?
10q You're welcome.
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avatar better_ia 27 day.agoWhat should you never learn the alphabets from a pirate?
You’ll never get past the C
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avatar mommypanda35 27 day.agono matter how much you push paper
it’ll still be stationery
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avatar IthinkIknowwhothatis 27 day.agoDid you hear about the actor who fell through the floor?
It was just a stage he was going through.
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avatar scottdnz 27 day.agoWhere does a messy eagle go shopping for a new nest?
At the Grocery (gross-eyrie). - an original from my 10 year old.
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avatar Apricus83 27 day.agoArthritis
Donald Trump wanted to experience the authentic Middle-East and went as a regular tourist to a local eatery. He noticed that the waiter bringing him biryani had his thumb dipped in the food. Too hungry to complain, he chose to ignore it. Later he saw the waiter bring him curry again with his thumb dipped in the bowl. And same thing happened when he ordered some lentil soup. But he noticed the waiter finally had his fingers off the food when dessert was brought. Now that he was full, he asked, “Hey, I see you can actually hold the plates and bowls without dipping your thumb in the food. Why did you have your thumb in all my previous orders?” “Well sir, I have arthritis in this thumb and the doctor has advised me to keep it warm all the time, so I dip it in hot food every chance I get.” Furious that it was a deliberate act and somewhat disgusted, Trump yelled, “Why don’t you shove your finger up your arse; it’s warm in there too!” “Well sir, that’s what I do when I am in the kitchen.”
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avatar Masselein 27 day.agoMy daughter always sneaks in a couple capital letters where they don’t belong.
She’s very shifty.
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avatar chud17 27 day.agoMy daughter asked me if she could play in the hose today
I said “Sure, but you have to write 3 sonnets first”. She asked “Why?” I said “Because it’s prose before hose”!
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avatar iCuminsidetrumpsbutt 27 day.agoWhat do you call a dinosaur with back problems?
A Mybackissore. Just made it up with my son lol
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avatar Realistic-Twist-3112 27 day.agoMy grandma always used to say "An apple a day keeps the doctor away."
I don't know if that's true, or just one of Granny's myths.
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avatar Left-Distribution-13 27 day.agoWhat kind of workout does Jesus do?
Cross fit
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avatar k_woz1978 27 day.agoI once was kidnapped by a group of mimes.
They did unspeakable things to me.
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avatar KingUnderTheMoon 27 day.agoIf sex was a movie:
“The beginning sucked, and the middle was hard to get through, but I really liked the climax!”
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avatar Alfiy_wolf 27 day.agoWhen I got my vasectomy I was told I couldn’t have kids anymore
When I got home they were still there
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avatar KingUnderTheMoon 27 day.agoSounds like a fun time!
Did the scientists enjoy dissecting a sphere perfectly center? Of course, they were halving a ball! Oh no, they split it atomically! It must have been a blast!
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avatar Thunder_Bolt_123 27 day.agoNot a dad joke. Honestly, just really happy to be here 💜
I recently stumbled upon this legendary subreddit. Never knew it even existed. And now it’s quickly becoming the only reason I use Reddit. Been going through a bit of a rough patch, but I honestly feel like I’ve found my people. Ya’ll are funny as hell. Thank you for all the laughs! I would say how much you *crack* me up, but that’ll just be too *cheesy*. You’re driving me *emmental* with all these jokes! I *gouda* go now, or I won’t stop, haha. Keep *brie-ing* awesome fellow dadjokers ✨
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avatar gracius0ne 27 day.agoThe circus lion was swift and precise in his kill..
He went right for the juggler.
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