3000+ funny dad jokes good or bad here waiting for you. I tell dad jokes every day, sometimes dad laughs.

I tried to call my dead grandma today, but I got ghosted.

I had to pace myself.

Philippe Philoppe

She sadly did not have the creativity to name all of them unique names so sho named each one a number from 1-100. One of them was named "one", the next was "two" and so on all the way to one hundred. But, in a tragic accident, 99 of the children died. The only one who survived was the one named "Ninety". Ninety eventually grew up and lived a whole life and she even had a few children of her own, One day, while Ninety's children were playing outside, they stumbled upon a stray dog and they decided to keep it. Ninety did not want the children to have a dog so they hid it and named it "This" so that they could talk about it around their mom without her knowing. They would say "Lets go take This outside." and things like that behind their mom's back. One day, white Ninety's children were not paying attention, This walks out into the middle of the street and gets hit by a car. This eventually dies and Ninety's kids don't tell their mother even then. No one else ever hears about This ever again. Only Ninety's Kids remember This.

They suck.

I was leaving the airport when a woman fainted and fell on the baggage carousel. She's slowly coming around now.

They go, "sheshe."

One-Inch Punch

I don't know how to brooch the subject to her.

That's a salt

I didn't really need another subwoofer but here I am

But I didn’t think it would work.

In the scent folder.

Thankfully, there was a hotfix.

3 people bid on me

They were called “The Sweet Add-a-Lines”

As he was typing out the final documents for the discovery he’d be providing the opposing side’s legal team, he discovered too late that the “C” key no longer worked on his keyboard. Out of time and frustrated, he just turned it all in anyway and sent a text message to the lead counsel on the opposing side who he was friendly with saying, “Please forgive the missing letters throughout the discovery documents. My keyboard malfunctioned. I’ll C you in court.”

Now, that's f***ing shit

That way he could introduce himself, I’m Harley, David’s son.

She didn't want to be known as Stevie Shatner-Nicks