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3000+ funny dad jokes good or bad here waiting for you. I tell dad jokes every day, sometimes dad laughs.

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avatar Nivedan_Saraswat 26 day.agoJudge: I order you to pay $10000.
Mario: Why? Judge: It's a fine. Mario: (Sadly) no itsa not.
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avatar headexpl0dy 26 day.agoDid you know that some turtles are Jewish?
Shell-Home
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avatar ___HeyGFY___ 26 day.agoThe guy at the pawnshop said the watch I bought would run for 30 days without winding.
I asked him how long it would run if I did wind it.
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avatar flylink63 26 day.agoI thought I had to poop earlier,
Turns out it was a farts alarm!
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avatar Devrij68 26 day.agoWhat do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh. Had to dust this classic off today
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avatar TheQuietKid22 26 day.agoWhy did the two childhood friends buy a lot of tomato sauce?
They had a lot of things to ketchup on.
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avatar TheQuietKid22 26 day.agoI used to play the triangle in a reggae band but I had to leave.
It was just one ting after another.
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avatar fuzzy_dice_99 26 day.agoI took my tailor to court for not altering my jacket and pants correctly
It wasn’t much of a suit
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avatar RippleDotPenguin 26 day.agoWhat do you call a list of positives and negatives about teaching inmates to write novels?
The pros and cons of prose and cons.
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avatar OctoberFire1 26 day.agoWhat do police hotlines and glory holes have in common?
They both rely on anonymous tips. *just heard this today and had to share*
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avatar fuzzy_dice_99 26 day.agoMy 5 year old boy asked me if I knew what a solar eclipse was
I said “No sun”
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avatar Gordonshumway67 26 day.agoA guy walks into a bar....
He sees 3 slabs of meat hanging from the ceiling. He asks the bartender, "Whats up with the meat? " Bartender says, If you can jump up and slap them your drinks are free if not you pay everyone's tab. The man thinks a minute then says, nah the steaks are too high.
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avatar ilikesidehugs 26 day.agoAn enthusiastic activist quickly walked up to me and yelled “FREE PALESTINE!!”
I thanked them as I thought to myself, “Damn, that’s a hell of a bargain.”
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avatar MaidMarian20 26 day.agoWhy did the cat cross the road?
Because the chicken had a laser pointer.
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avatar MaidMarian20 26 day.agoWhat did the cat say when it answered the phone?
Can you hear meow?
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avatar Make_the_music_stop 26 day.agoMy 16 year old son wanted to know what it was like to be a parent.
So I woke him at 2am to tell him my sock had come off.
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avatar subillusion 26 day.agoNew Job...
I got a high-level executive job running old Macdonald's farm. I'm now the C.E.I.E.I.O.
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avatar trebityblebity 26 day.agoWhy is it so hard to conduct autopsies in an Igloo?
Because there are no coroners.
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avatar DoublePlusUnGod 26 day.agoWould you like to buy this horse? It runs 20 miles without stop.
No thank you, I live only 6 miles from here.
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avatar Blastwing 26 day.agoWhat did the Bulbasaur say when it had to much sex?
Vulva sore
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