3000+ funny dad jokes good or bad here waiting for you. I tell dad jokes every day, sometimes dad laughs.

A priest, the pope, and a hitman walk into a bar. All are dressed in simple clothes and know nothing of each other. As happenstance would have it, they settle in at the bar next to one another. The priest and Pope settle on a simple mixed drink. The hitman orders a whiskey neat. The 3 men become well acquainted as the night progresses and drinks flow. The hitman, asks the two, “so what do you two gentlemen do for a living and is the money any good?” The priest says, “I’m a priest so I don’t care much for money but I make a health salary” the Pope says “Well I’m the pope so the Vatican pays for my necessities and I, in turn, focus on the serving the people. How about yourself?” And the hitman looks up and responds, “I can’t tell you what I do for a living but rest assured I make a killing” (Written by me so go easy)

Polly wanna cookie?

I believe his exact words were "Kareem, get the Monet".

The nervous energy that filled the room as they wheeled his coffin in was intense!

It was a male masseur, during the massage I asked him, "Is it normal to get an erection during a massage?" He said, "Sure, it happens." I said, "Oh, well could you at least keep it out of my face".

What do you call it when a rooster is looking at lettuce? A chicken sees your salad. Go loons! MNUFC!

Sir Humpsalot

When I asked him if I could do anything to live longer, he told me to get married. He said it won't make you live longer, but it'll be the longest six months of your life!

He's Hugh Laurious.

They did unspeakable things to me.

Linda.

Step one: Make metal molds to look like Rick Astley Step two: Make bread dough Step three: pour the dough into the molds. Step four: bake it Step five: Rick rolls

I’m better than you.

You don’t, there’s a clock on the stove

Because they needed a name and all the other four letter words were taken.

The whole thing’s pope-less

Tequila mockingbird

I asked why they were going to call her 66?

I never understood how anyone can get eaten by a shark. I mean, don't they even hear the music?

I said “Rif ooo ake uur ingers ow mah outh I’ll ell ooo”