3000+ funny dad jokes good or bad here waiting for you. I tell dad jokes every day, sometimes dad laughs.

A Labracadabrador

A zebra in a lion's mouth

Because I don't remember how to finish this joke

I usually tell dad jokes, most of the time he laughs.

It was worth every penne.

Then he started throwing quarters at me until I left.

Real G's move in silence like lasagna.

Turns out: mozzarella sticks!

I was really hoping no fast food item would call my phone but then, onion rings.

I made only 50 per scent.

You play a fiddle with your shoes off.

It's my Hej fund

It's pronouns are wee/wee

It really takes a lot out of me.

He must have been partially blind because he didn't see that well.

“Dam”

I guess he made a clean getaway.

* you are a giraffe with a sore throat * you put your hands in your pocket and your fingers get stuck in used gum * you're in the shower when someone flushes the toilet * you've got ants in your pants * you're trying to open a new plastic bag but can't get the sides apart * putting on a sweatshirt that just came out of the dryer * you have to sneeze but can't * you're in the back seat when you detect an SBD (silent but deadly) * Darth Vader’s light saber in on the fritz * your phone is dying and you can't find a charger * a bird poops on your windshield and you turn on your wipers but you're out of wiper fluid * expecting a package from amazon, you race to the door when the doorbell rings, but it is Jehovah Witnesses trying to save your soul * You're sitting in your synagogue/church when you get a terrible cramp in your calf * you excitedly grab a cookie, expecting chocolate chip, only to discover that it is oatmeal raisin * your ice cream cone is melting faster than you can eat it * the wind turns your umbrella inside out * trying--and failing--to get the waiter's attention to refill your water after eating food that is too spicy * you're eating scrambled eggs when you get a bite with shell in it * you're basically out of toothpaste and trying desperately to squeeze just a little more out of the tube * you're driving and complete a call over the sound system, and the volume is deafening when the music comes back on * you've got an umbrella to get to the car but it is so hard to close that you get soaked anyway * you're making coffee and someone put salt in the sugar bowl * you're with your friends and your mom keeps butt-dialing you * You're eating an ice-cream cone when you get brainfreeze * you're chewing gum, blow a big bubble, and the gum gets stuck in your eyebrows * you can't remember all the moves in the macarena * It’s your first time ice skating (or roller skating)

He then proceeded to draw his weapon.

I don't know and I don't care