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3000+ funny dad jokes good or bad here waiting for you. I tell dad jokes every day, sometimes dad laughs.

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avatar LargeManufacturer782 12 day.agoWhat’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
The taste.
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avatar savant99999 12 day.agoMy daughter just told me there's something wrong with her foot.
I said, "Is it only 11 inches?"
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avatar asbestos_fingers 12 day.agoWhat will happen if Satan goes bald?
There will be a Hell Toupee
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avatar Yokelele 12 day.agoWhat kind of trousers do you wear in Tokyo?
Japants!
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avatar WankingAsWeSpeak 12 day.agoDid you know pirates are considered indigenous people in Canada?
It's because they arrrrr métis
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avatar Joel_Boyens 12 day.agoMy wife asked me if I think of directions that often.
I said all-ways.
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avatar Next-Communication18 12 day.agoNever trust a …
Lionfish
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avatar Slowloris81 12 day.agoWhich flower can you never trust to tell the truth?
A lie-lac.
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avatar MeesterCartmanez 12 day.agoDid you hear about the guy who would sell 3 doors at a time?
He was in 'door, two door' sales
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avatar alanmitch34 12 day.agoHow do female sheep turn around?
They do a ewe-turn of course
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avatar Joel_Boyens 12 day.agoWhy are funny people always so smart?
Because they're wise guys, gals, or people.
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avatar Yokelele 12 day.agoWho’s a metal artist that can really get you off your feet and get you moving?
Dance-ig!
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avatar 333iamhalfevil 12 day.agoWhat car does the millionaire sheep drive?
A Lamborghini.
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avatar MrFenric 12 day.agoAmericans should all be familiar with the metric system
They've been using 9mm in schools for decades
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avatar Joel_Boyens 12 day.agoI once was awarded with a humorous prize for being the funniest man in the room.
I was like, what a joke.
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avatar Rubbertje 12 day.agoWhat do you call a Spanish chicken that landed on the moon?
A pollo (my 10yo daughter came up with this one! We moved to Spain recently) Edit: apparently, this joke already exists, we just found out. We Apollo-gize! 😉
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avatar WeirdWayneWallis 12 day.agoMy told me to stop impersonating a flamingo.
So I had to put my foot down.
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avatar Old_Primary_5484 12 day.agoMy boss has been sending us a "happy memo" every Monday this year, to boost morale at work.
I put them all together in a little video compilation for you to watch, for one day only! I'm wondering, what should I call the video?
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avatar RoosterLollipop69 12 day.agoWhy does a wolf only bite a human in the past tense?
The human becomes a "were" wolf.
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avatar Jake_THINGS 12 day.agoI just saw a dad serve his most important function
Answering: Dad, where is mom?
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