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3000+ funny dad jokes good or bad here waiting for you. I tell dad jokes every day, sometimes dad laughs.

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avatar ilikesidehugs 20 day.agoA delusional solicitor came to my door and said, “I’m a dog walker.”
I stopped them right there and was like, “How the *hell* did you know my name is Walker??”
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avatar ilikesidehugs 20 day.agoMy son choked on his train-themed birthday cake.
Guess he bit off more than he could choo.
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avatar Sid_Krishna_Shiva 20 day.agoMy electrical engineer friend just found out that his GF was cheating on him and all I could say was...
I understand buddy, truth hertz.
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avatar Make_the_music_stop 20 day.agoI adopted a dog from a locksmith.
As soon as we got home he made a bolt for the door.
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avatar DinglebarryHandpump 20 day.agoThe bunny managed one more hop, just keeping my tire from hitting him
Thankfully, missed him by a hare.
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avatar MicaGalle 20 day.agoWhat do you call it when there are too many knights at the round table?
A Sir-plus
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avatar Random_Alt_2947284 20 day.agoWhy was Six afraid of Seven?
It's not because Seven ate Nine, like most people believe. They once went camping, and Seven One-ted, Two bring Three knifes Four sur-Five-al, but Six knew that Seven secretle h-Eight-ed him and did not have be-Nine in-Ten-tions
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avatar GiborDesign 20 day.agoWhat does the woman tree say to the guy tree?
"I'm leafing you!"
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avatar LiveFree_OrDie603 20 day.agoI had my first experience with sleep paralysis last night, turns out Gloria Gaynor is my sleep paralysis demon.
I woke up seeing her floating over me. And at first I was afraid, I was petrified...
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avatar Effective_Society319 20 day.agoI tried to train my cat to high-five...
Now she just paws all my legal documents without reading them.
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avatar Kyzse 20 day.agoWhat do u call it when u have rice for breakfast, lunch and dinner
Thrice.
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avatar MeloncholyTardigrade 20 day.agoA guy gets home having just listened to the radio news....
He say to his flatmate: "Hey did you just hear the news?" FM: "No, what's happened?" Him: "That actress that you like got stabbed!!" FM: "Oh, thanks that really narrows it down, I like a lot of actresses. What is her name?!" "Him: I can't remember now..... Oh it was Ree, Rise, Rice, HAH I remember now it's Reese... something" FM: "Witherspoon??" Him: "Nah, with a knife, you dick" (No Reese Witherspoons where harmed in retelling this (old) joke)
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avatar Buffalo_River_Lover 20 day.agoWhy did the chicken cross the road?
To show the armadillo how to do it.
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avatar Jesse_Bitchman 20 day.agoMy dream job is to work with mirrors.
I can really see myself doing that!
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avatar Blakematthews-96 20 day.agoI ordered a book called how to scam people online
It’s been six months now and I still haven’t received it.
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avatar Opportunist_Ad3972 20 day.agoMy ex was beautiful but she had a lazy eye.
Turns out she was seeing someone else on the side…
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avatar asromatifoso 20 day.agoI hate my job crushing aluminum cans at the recycling center.
It's soda pressing!
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avatar Joel_Boyens 20 day.agoCasual conversation grotesques me.
It's discussing.
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avatar chuckayyyyyyyyyy 20 day.agoSo I took advice from a chicken yesterday
Bad idea. Don't cross that road if you come to it.
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avatar Manpag 20 day.agoAnt farms are proof that even before computers were widely available...
...people were already framing bugs as features.
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