jokeKing logo
avatar MeloncholyTardigrade 3 day.ago

A guy gets home having just listened to the radio news....

He say to his flatmate: "Hey did you just hear the news?" FM: "No, what's happened?" Him: "That actress that you like got stabbed!!" FM: "Oh, thanks that really narrows it down, I like a lot of actresses. What is her name?!" "Him: I can't remember now..... Oh it was Ree, Rise, Rice, HAH I remember now it's Reese... something" FM: "Witherspoon??" Him: "Nah, with a knife, you dick" (No Reese Witherspoons where harmed in retelling this (old) joke)

dadjoke

nsfw

5
4
Recommend Jokes

Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. I spent $500 renting a limo but just learnt that the car doesn’t come with a driver.

All that money and nothing to chauffeur it!

2. What do you call a fish with no eyes?

A fsh

3. What do you call someone who was born inside a car but suffocated and died outside?

Carborn dieoutside.

4. A philosopher, a quantum physicist, a feminist and an ICE agent all spot a Mexican pitbull stuck on a tree.

The philosopher asks, "Why is it there?" The quantum physicist asks, "How is it there?" The feminist asks, "How is she there?" The ICE agent asks, "Permission to open fire?"

5. What do you call a large group of rabbits having a party?

Abundance

6. I grabbed a chemist and forced him to give me a vial of magnesium sulfate...

He claimed it's assault.

7. People were giving me guff for wearing a hat with a bank logo on it

But everyone should have a financial ad visor

8. I've decided to start a new chapter in my life..

Otherwise, this autobiography will *never* get finished.

9. If you lost an eye and the only way to replace it was using part of a tree... would you do it?

I would

10. When using the metric system, don't forget the term used for the middlemost measurement.

The center-meter.

more jokes Here waiting for you

best dad jokesjokes for adult
Welcome to Joker King – Your Daily Dose of Happiness!

Here, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!

Feeling down? Click in—guaranteed smiles! 😆