I spent $500 renting a limo but just learnt that the car doesn’t come with a driver.

Another\* time in old China, a poor farmer happened on a mirror, dropped by a traveller by the side of the road. He peered at it curiously, for he had never seen one before, and to his surprise he saw the likeness of his late father, dead twenty years ago. "What a remarkable gift the gods have bestowed upon me!" exclaimed the farmer; and he set about building a shrine at the back of his barn, where the image could be kept in safety. His wife became suspicious at the amount of time her husband was spending behind the barn, and one day when he was working in a distant field she went to look, and she found (as she though) a little love-nest with a picture hanging up in it. On viewing it she wept in jealous fury over the fickleness of men, "and how," she demanded, "could my husband devote himself to such an ugly cross-patch as this?" When he came home she angrily confronted him over his illicit affairs, and grew all the more wrathful at his absurd excuses, until the noise of their quarrel attracted a passing priest. "What is the cause," demanded the priest, "of this disturbance which so affronts the peace and harmony of Heaven itself?" "My husband has taken up with a trollop, and keeps her likeness here to gaze upon!" screeched the wife. "My wife has gone mad, and mistakes this portrait of my sainted father for a woman!" protested the husband. The priest inspected the evidence and shook his head in wonder. "You are both wrong. This is the likeness of a devoted monk, wise and venerable. I know not how you could mistake so holy a face." And to save further strife, the priest took the contentious image away to the nearest monastery, where it could be kept in safety. \--- \*See "Rope" for the first of these.

A proctologist only has to deal with one asshole at a time.

Apparently if someone were to break-in during the night and steal my blankets I wouldn't be covered.

They have supervision.

...Carbon dating.com

A rhinoceros on a long sea voyage.

It was because of hispanic.

An elephant on roller skates.

They only gave us a knife and a spoon… No forks were given.

Andrew.