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2000 Best Dad Jokes for Family Gatherings – Instant Icebreaker!

Need to lighten the mood at family events? These dad jokes are guaranteed to get eye rolls… and laughter! Save this list for your next reunion.

avatar Sonicmixmaster 1 mon.agoA little boy wakes up 3 nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parents room.
Finally one morning he goes to his mom and says, "Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making noises and when I looked in your bedroom you're bouncing up and down on him." His mom is taken by surprise and says, "Oh, well I'm bouncing on his stomach because he's fat and that makes him thin again." And the boy says, "Well, that won't work!" His mom says, "Why?!?" And the boy replies, "Because the lady next door comes by after you leave each day and blows him back up!"
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avatar fatfridaylunch 1 mon.agoHow do you spot a blind man on a nude beach?
It's not hard. Edit: Can't believe the number of people who don't understand this
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avatar AndrewMacSydney 1 mon.agoMy neighbours invited me to a nude party at 8.00pm tonight
They said to bring nothing and don’t come early.
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avatar BearddBrad 1 mon.agoThere is a community dinner tomorrow for women with missing legs
That place will be crawling with pussy.
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avatar danielsoft1 1 mon.agoThe first thing a man looks at in a woman is her heart.
It's not his fault her tits block the view.
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avatar zefciu 1 mon.agoF@#$%^g Spark
A guy walks into a bar and orders a shot of whisky. Instead of drinking it he gargles his mouth and spits "ghurrrghguuggrrhh, ptu... Fucking Spark". He orders another and again he does the same thing "ghurrrghghurrggghguuggrrhh, ptu... Fucking Spark". The barman sets the third shot beofore him, but this time he asks him, what happened "So, I was driving my truck with two trailers attached, when some idiot in front of me starts overtaking. I swerved, but my left wheels got stuck in the ditch. No way to get out. I was just going to call for help when a guy in a Chevy Spark stops by and says 'Man, don't worry, I will pull you out'. I was like 'Haha, if you pull me out with that matchbox, I will give you a blowjob' "glglglghgghhhhhglllgurrr, ptu... Fucking Spark".
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avatar BuzzyBug 1 mon.agoAfter some great sex, she lies there stroking his cock.
After some great sex, she lies there stroking his cock. He asks, “Do you want more sex?” “No,” she replies, “I’m just admiring your cock... I really miss mine.”
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