Need to lighten the mood at family events? These dad jokes are guaranteed to get eye rolls… and laughter! Save this list for your next reunion.
OZFox42 1 mon.agoThree women are at a cocktail party.The conversation turns to their husbands.
The first woman, smiling smugly, says, "My husband is taking me on a romantic cruise to the Caribbean for two weeks."
The second boasts, "My husband just bought me a brand new Ferrari."
The third shrugs and says, "Well, to be perfectly honest with you, ladies, we don't have much money or many material possessions. However, one thing I can tell you about my husband is that 10 budgerigars can stand shoulder to shoulder on his erect penis."
After this, the first woman looks ashamed. "Girls, I've got a confession to make. I was only trying to impress you. You know that two week vacation I was telling you about? Well, it's not to the Caribbean, but to my parents' house for one weekend."
The second woman says, "Oh, ladies, I'm just as bad. It's not a Ferrari he bought me, but an old, beat-up Honda."
"I also have a confession to make," said the third woman, "The tenth budgie has to stand on one leg."
Able-Ground3194 1 mon.agoA mother was walking down the hall when she heard a humming sound coming from her daughter's bedroom. When she opened the door, she found her daughter naked on the bed with a vibrator.'What are you doing?' the mother exclaimed.
The daughter replied, 'I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents, and this is the closest I'll ever get to a husband.'
Later that week the father was in the kitchen and heard a humming sound coming from the basement. When he went downstairs, he found his daughter naked on the sofa with her vibrator.
'What are you doing?!' he exclaimed.
The daughter replied, 'I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents, and this is the closest I'll ever get to a husband.'
A couple of days later, the mother heard the humming sound again, this time in the living room. In there, she found her husband watching the Super Bowl on television with the vibrator buzzing away beside him.
'What are you doing?' she exclaimed.
He replied............'Watching the game with my son-in-law.
pennylanebarbershop 1 mon.agoAcrobatic solution“My mom is pretty liberal and said it’s OK if I want to get naked with my boyfriend, but on the condition that he can touch me only above the waist,” said the pretty cheerleader to her friend.
“So,” replied the friend, “how are going to deal with that restriction.”
“I’m going to learn how to do a headstand for an extended period of time,” came the reply.
ash_got_stash 1 mon.agoA ladder, a phone, a chair and a dildo are playing pokerLadder says "I raise", hearing that phone says "I call", hearing that chair says "I fold" and lastly hearing all that dildo says "I'm all in".
Edit 1:- I'm confused with all the mixed thoughts about this joke here, some people found it inappropriate to post it here while some did not. I didn't mean to post it for kids, its for you all to laugh it off. I mean it is silly and funny.
Hornguy2363 1 mon.agoRooster and DonkeyIf you are a donkey and I am a rooster and I break my two feet off in you what do you have?
Two feet of my cock in your ass, 😂🤣
senguku 1 mon.agoA chat with a little girl on her porch...A man was walking past a house when he saw a little girl sitting on the front porch, playing with a little puppy.
He paused to say hello. "Hi there," he said. "What's your name?"
She replied in a sweet, high-pitched voice, "My name's Petal."
"That's a beautiful name," the man commented. "How did your parents choose it?"
She explained, "Well, when Mummy and Daddy were... *making me*... they looked out the window and saw a beautiful rose petal float by. So they named me Petal."
"Wow, that's a lovely story," the man said. "And a very pretty name." He then gestured to the puppy. "And what's your puppy's name?"
The little girl beamed, "His name is Porky!"
The man chuckled. "Porky? That's an... interesting name. Why do you call him Porky?"
The little girl replied "Because he fucks pigs."
