2000 Best Dad Jokes for Family Gatherings – Instant Icebreaker!

I see this hot 50 something milf and I tell the bartender to send her a drink. A minute later she comes over and sits in the barstool next to me thanking me. She runs her foot up my leg as she leans and kisses my cheek. I realize that I'm getting cougared and I just let her do her thing. She slides her hand on my thigh to my bulge and says, "I want this, I live 3 minutes away, let's go!", giving my throbbing bulge a hard squeeze emphasizing her desire. We leave and the short drive to her house she had me so hard. I couldn't believe my luck. We barely get in the door and she's pinning me against the wall, grinding on me. She licks up my neck to my ear, and whispers,"you want some Mother/Daughter sex?" Ohhh I was so turned on I could all I could say is "Hell yes!". She turned her head and yelled up the staircase, " Mom get down here!"

I proceeded to stick my finger in her ear.

That priest is in jail now

Hog-warts

I mean, what is the world cumming to?

It's called Kingdom-cum

...be Mother Fuckers Day?

Miso Horny

There once was a porcupine who woke up one day to find that his penis had changed into a cross shape. Super excited, he went all over the jungle showing it off to as many animals as he came across. Woe, alas and alack! One morning he woke up to see his special appendage was missing. He went around from animal to animal, asking if they had seen his special penis. "No," said the elephant, "seen it many times, but not today." He got the same response from the lion, the cheetah, the zebra, the monkey, even from Bhaloo and Sher Khan and Mowgli. No one admitted to seeing it - Until he came across the jaguar. "Mr. Jaguar, Mr. Jaguar, have you seen my special penis?" "Yes," said the jaguar. "I ate it." "What!!!???" screamed the porcupine, "Why would you do such a cruel thing?" "Because," came the reply, "I am a four point tool eater Jaguar."

Well, I call it a spark, she calls it "a taser".