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3000+ funny dad jokes good or bad here waiting for you. I tell dad jokes every day, sometimes dad laughs.

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avatar ASK_ABT_MY_USERNAME 7 day.agoI was able to move the building with a big beacon light down the shore all by myself
It was a lighthouse.
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avatar Masselein 7 day.agoWhat’s the spookiest body of water in North America?
Lake Eerie.
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avatar Bossk759 7 day.agoWhat do you get when you cross the bands Kansas and the Counting Crows?
Carrion, my wayward son!
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avatar mickeydabat 7 day.agoI’ve always been afraid to hang out with calendars…
…Their days are numbered
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avatar tschach 7 day.agoI couldn't be a dad for the first 36 months of our child…
I was a serious joking hazard!
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avatar Left-Distribution-13 7 day.agoAlligators can grow up to 15 feet...
But most have only four
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avatar ilikesidehugs 7 day.agoWoke up holding a wooden spoon and mixing bowl. My wife said, “Rough night?” I’m like, “Yeah..how’d you know?”
“You were stirring in your sleep.”
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avatar PhilipWaterford 7 day.agoAn eagle has been building a nest on Neil Armstrong's grave.
Eerie!
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avatar Spirited-Shallot7984 7 day.agoParallel lines have so much in common
It’s a shame they’ll never meet
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avatar Icy-Philosopher3531 7 day.agoI was at the grocery store the other day
My wife and I were walking around the produce section trying to find these mini apples that our kids liked. After a few minutes of walking around, we couldn't find them. I guess could say that store was Minni-apple-less
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avatar dusknoir90 7 day.agoWhat do you get when you walk too much and eat too much sugar?
Dire-Feeties!
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avatar Liquid_disc_of_shit 7 day.agoWhat will the Robot armies do after the last battle in the AI Wars?
CHARGE!!!!!!!!
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avatar Hot_Historian1066 7 day.agoIncorrectly
The only time the word incorrectly isn’t spelled incorrectly is when it’s spelled incorrectly.
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avatar in_kent 7 day.agoWhat would a sign say on a brothel that went out of business?
Beat it we’re closed.
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avatar antisp1n 7 day.agoWhy did the farmer who was taking care of his sick wife, run outside, mumbling and cursing?
Because the medicine said “shake well before use”. Thrice a day. For seven days.
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avatar Worldly-Window5137 7 day.agoMy cat started following the Islamic faith
He’s meowslim
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avatar Gordonshumway67 7 day.agoHollywood is making a movie about classical composers...
Stallone says.. I'll be Beethoven! Van Damme says I'll be Mozart! Schwarzenegger says I'll be Bach!
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avatar alanmitch34 7 day.agoSome guy didn't wear pants to the gym this morning!
Oh wait. Just realized they were camouflage. Nevermind.
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avatar Liontamer_II 7 day.agoI’m non-binary
I have no zeros or ones
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avatar badassman123 7 day.agoWife asked me to take out the spider
Went out. Had a few drinks. Turns out he's a web designer
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