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3000+ funny dad jokes good or bad here waiting for you. I tell dad jokes every day, sometimes dad laughs.

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avatar flyzapper 16 day.agoMy wife wanted to have sex on the hood of a random car. I said no.
If I’m going to have sex, it’s going to be on my own accord.
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avatar DoublePotential6925 16 day.agoWhat’s the difference between in-laws and outlaws?
Outlaws are wanted.
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avatar theplotthinnens 16 day.agoI think it's going to rain, like, a lot, but my family doesn't believe me.
Apparently I'm delugional.
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avatar The_Reddit_Wetting 16 day.agoI finally opened up to the beauty of Norwegian pop music
It was a real A-ha moment (Be honest; what’s your Take On Me?)
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avatar AssignedUsername 16 day.agoCows
Asked my son if he heard that in WW2 we deployed an army of cows, but it didn't work because they ran out of A-moo-nition. After the war we brought the cows home and decided that we should try and make the cows into artists, and they all became Moo-sicians. As he stared blankly at me I told him that he clearly didn't find cow jokes A-moo-sing.
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avatar ilikesidehugs 16 day.agoI asked my wife if she thought I was still good in bed. She gave me an inquisitive look and said, “What does that mean?”
I replied, “it’s a word that we use to refer to something specific - often something not nearby, or already understood from context.”
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avatar WorkN-2play 16 day.agoMy grandpa turned 80 figured he should visit doctor arthritis was getting really bad what did the doctor tell him?
Sir you have early onset Rigormortis
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avatar ilikesidehugs 16 day.agoThe kids were asking about our wedding story. I said, “It was a perfect scene… sun shining, birds chirping, sailboats coasting by in the distance…” My wife goes, “Yeah, well don’t leave out the part where I had to drag you to the altar.” Our youngest asked, “Why? Did you not want to marry her, Dad?”
I’m like, “No - her father threw my wheelchair in the lake.”
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avatar Left-Distribution-13 16 day.agoWhat is the medical diagnosis for owning way too many dogs?
Roverdose
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avatar bowen7477 16 day.agoI'm too old to party like it's 1999
I want grocery prices to be like its 1999
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avatar Bright-Historian-216 16 day.agoThe hydrogen atom was confused to see its electron gone.
"Ion get it."
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avatar ssttuueeyy 16 day.agoWhat has 2 legs and bleeds?
Half a dog.
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avatar GiborDesign 16 day.agoYesterday I drank too much alcohol and tied together every piece of cord I found in my house.
Obviously I thought to myself: "Wine knot?"
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avatar Various-Canary7311 16 day.agoI always rip out a fart when someone talks behind my back.
Unfortunately for him, I couldn't control my diahrrea that day.
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avatar Make_the_music_stop 16 day.agoMy best friend loves Batman. So I said to him after our 6th beer: “Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression!?”
Him (rolling his eyes): “Go on, then.” So I growl: “**NOOOOO, NOT THE KRYPTONITE!**” Him: “That’s Superman.” Me: “Thanks, I’ve been practicing a lot.”
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avatar dune_know 16 day.agoWhat do you call a charged particle with feelings?
An emot-ion...
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avatar NabrenX 16 day.agoI always think outside of the box
Especially because there is never one around when I need it!
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avatar Post_Nuclear_Messiah 16 day.agoWhat's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea?
I've never paid $20 to have a lentil on my face.
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avatar Healthy_Ladder_6198 16 day.agoI hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly
She's not your friend anymore
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avatar WankingAsWeSpeak 16 day.agoThey say you are what you eat. So, what happens if you eat aluminum foil?
You sheet metal
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