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3000+ funny dad jokes good or bad here waiting for you. I tell dad jokes every day, sometimes dad laughs.

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avatar thegaming_dude 26 day.agoA vet helped cure my diseased donkey.
I thanked him for saving my ass.
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avatar DinglebarryHandpump 26 day.agoPeople who spit the most are Belgian
Because they are Flemish
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avatar incredibleinkpen 26 day.agoWhat do you call someone that wants to end slavery of Swedish musicians?
An abbalitionist
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avatar Sometimes-funny 26 day.agoI dated a ballerina once
Sadly we broke up. She cheated on me. I should have seen the signs, with all the tip toeing around
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avatar TheRealRockyRococo 26 day.agoTo whoever stole my glasses...
I will find you. I have contacts.
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avatar Majestic_Natural3285 26 day.agoWhat did one plate say to the other plate?
Dinner is on me
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avatar DocumentDifferent341 26 day.agoI have a terrible fear of speed bumps.
But, I’m slowly getting over them.
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avatar pLeThOrAx 26 day.agoWhich fruit is the holiest?
Papayas
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avatar thewuzfuz 26 day.agoWhat's a cannibal's favorite thing about chili?
The kidney beans.
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avatar ASK_ABT_MY_USERNAME 26 day.agoI get super cocky when it comes to making waffles
I let me eggo get the best of me
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avatar ilikesidehugs 26 day.agoI asked my private Spanish tutor what ‘no sé’ meant. She said, “I don’t know…”
I’m like, “what the hell am I even paying you for??”
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avatar jungleboydotca 26 day.agoWhat candy was served after Trump's crypto-donor dinner?
Emolu-Mints!
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avatar Masselein 26 day.agoI don't like using cheap accommodations.
It can be a hostel environment.
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avatar Onereasonwhy 26 day.agoWhat kind of mouse walks on two feet?
'Umm not sure...' 'Micky Mouse. Now, what kind of duck walks on two feet?' 'Donald Duck?' 'No. All of em'
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avatar SupHomiess 26 day.agoI never saw the ending of Stephen King's IT Chapter 1
But I know it's going down well
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avatar Difficult-Safety-480 26 day.agoThey say dating German Women is awful.
They don't such dich.
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avatar MykoJai168 26 day.agoA photon checks into a hotel. Clerk ask can I take your baggage?
Photon says "no, I'm traveling light"
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avatar Jesse_Bitchman 26 day.agoA karen walked into my store last night and asked if she can see the manager!
Apparently, DEPENDS ON YOUR EYESIGHT, is not the correct response.
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avatar Slowloris81 26 day.agoMy house bore witness to a great prophecy that my toddler would be in timeout.
He denied there was sufficient evidence for punishment, but the writing was on the wall.
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avatar grabthespeed 26 day.agoShe got a boob job.
Her B’s have turned into C’s, for that I’ll give her an A.
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