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2000 Best Dad Jokes for Family Gatherings – Instant Icebreaker!

Need to lighten the mood at family events? These dad jokes are guaranteed to get eye rolls… and laughter! Save this list for your next reunion.

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avatar pennylanebarbershop 1 mon.agoLate getting home
As the office was closing, and as they were giggling and taking off their clothes, the executive had his secretary phone his wife to tell her that he was tied up in a meeting and would be a couple of hours late getting home. “Did she say anything?,” asked the executive. “Yeah, she wanted to know if she could count on it.”
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avatar NAUGHTYBOUY 1 mon.agoI recently ejaculated over three feet, I’m not sure if this is a world record.
Or who the three feet belonged to..
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avatar Pro_Smashy 1 mon.agoWhat is grammar?
The difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.
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avatar OZFox42 1 mon.agoA busy couple whose schedules allowed them to have sex only once a month, bought a box of 12 condoms, so they would be set for a year.
Three months later, the wife went to get one, and found the box empty. "What happened to the other 9 condoms?" she asked her husband. He nervously replied, "Um, I uh... masturbated with them." The next day she shared the story with a male co-worker, and asked him, "Have you ever done that?" "Yeah, once or twice," he told her. "You mean you've actually masturbated with a condom?" "Oh," he said, "I thought you were asking if I'd ever lied to my wife."
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avatar Ready_Box3423 1 mon.agoYo mama
Yo mama so stupid when she ran into a parked car she tried to sue them
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avatar Joel_Boyens 1 mon.agoWhat do you call an entire civilization under the influence of weed?
High society.
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avatar Joel_Boyens 1 mon.ago100% of your ass...
Is a hole.
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avatar Joel_Boyens 1 mon.agoI heard of a basketball player that hooked up with his ex-girlfriend recently after they broke up.
They had rebound sex.
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avatar RibaldPancake 1 mon.agoDuring World War 2, morale in Britain was sagging and Churchill's government felt that something was needed to boost the people's spirits.
So they decided to hold a contest to find the funniest limerick in all the land. And because limericks are sometimes on the dirty side, bawdy submissions were permitted and even encouraged. A panel of judges from all walks of life was assembled to review the limericks and select the funniest. In the end, they chose a submission from a 68 year old grandmother and invited her to read her limerick live in a BBC broadcast. But there was a problem: The limerick was so dirty that the judges felt that it couldn't be read to the public without censoring the worst of the language. With that stipulation, the woman went to the BBC studios and prepared to read her limerick, with the dirtiest words replaced with "da". She cleared her throat and began: Da da da da da da da da Da da da da da da da da Da da da da da Da da da da da Da da da da da fucking c\*nt.
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avatar 13Fleas 1 mon.agoA penis has a sad life.
His hair is a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him.
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