Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
OZFox42 14 day.agoThree months later, the wife went to get one, and found the box empty. "What happened to the other 9 condoms?" she asked her husband. He nervously replied, "Um, I uh... masturbated with them." The next day she shared the story with a male co-worker, and asked him, "Have you ever done that?" "Yeah, once or twice," he told her. "You mean you've actually masturbated with a condom?" "Oh," he said, "I thought you were asking if I'd ever lied to my wife."
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A co-worker notices and asks, "So, what are you up to next week?" The woman smiles and replies, "Oh I'll be jet setting. It's going to be wonderful." "Oh yeah? Portugal?" "Nope. Shower head."
You'd think they would have been warned by the ticking alarm clock.
That would be a big step forward.
She whispered, "They’re right behind you."
When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!" So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!" The next day, the second woman accidentally steps on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman. The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on ... very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. The happy woman says, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?" The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"
The bartender says "I'll have that whiskey and soda ready for you in a jiffy." The pane of glass says ,"How did you know that's what I wanted?" The bartender replies, "I can see right through you."
His penis is 10 foot long with a bucket on the end.
He wracked his mind for things to put in it. He spoke about how much he loved his mother, and how much he cherished her. He then wrote down his favourite memories, especially cooking with her when he was young in the kitchen. He always loved being her SIUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU chef.
Whipped Cream
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best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
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