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2000 Best Dad Jokes for Family Gatherings – Instant Icebreaker!

Need to lighten the mood at family events? These dad jokes are guaranteed to get eye rolls… and laughter! Save this list for your next reunion.

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avatar SionGest 1 mon.agoPut all my old dogging gear up for sale on eBay today.
No bids yet but I’ve got 12 people watching.
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avatar OZFox42 1 mon.agoA guy came home early one day from work and heard weird sounds coming from the master bedroom.
When he went upstairs he found his wife on the bed, naked and sweating. "What the hell is going on?" he asked her. "I'm having a heart attack," she stammered. Her husband ran downstairs and dialled 911. As he was doing this, his young son ran up to him and said, "Dad, uncle Tom is upstairs hiding in the closet, and he's naked." The father slammed the phone down and ran back upstairs to find his brother. "What the hell are you doing?" he screamed at him, "My wife is having a heart attack, and you're running around naked, scaring the kids!"
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avatar Banned_Opinions 1 mon.agoA couple sits down for their first couples therapy session....
The therapist says, "Ok thanks for coming in today. Let's start with something you guys both agree on." The husband repliies, "Well, neither one of us like sucking dick."
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avatar pennylanebarbershop 1 mon.agoHer side job
Needing some extra cash, a young flight attendant started to gig a few call girl jobs. It was funny- whenever a guy inserted his member, she couldn’t break her habit of saying ‘Welcome aboard!’
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avatar DoomRulz 1 mon.agoWhat's a prostitute's favourite music genre?
Whore-pera!
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avatar IronMan6666666 1 mon.ago[Meta] Why are nsfw jokes allowed?
I don't think this needs much explanation: Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid, but 90% of the nsfw jokes here don't fulfill that simple criteria whatsoever
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avatar PsychologicalCod6750 1 mon.agoWhy couldn’t the lizard get a girlfriend?
Because he had reptile dysfunction
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avatar Sanctioned-Bully 1 mon.agoI met a girl in a bar and she gave me a pity fuck after hearing my story about how my parents kicked me out at 12 and feeling sorry for me.
She was super pissed off when I told her they were expecting me back at around 6.
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avatar Luxodad 1 mon.agoRoyal wedding
There once was a royal wedding, and the King and Queen wanted to "ensure all went well in the bedchamber." When the newlyweds retired, both parents had their ears stuck to the bedchamber door. Meanwhile, the Princess, having changed for the reception, was having a problem getting her shoes off. She asked the Prince for help. "Oh my gosh," exclaimed the Prince when he got the first one off, "That was really tight." "See," whispered the Queen, "I told you she was a virgin." The Prince told his bride, "Now for the other one." The King whispered to the Queen, "That's my boy!"
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avatar Strict_Berry7446 1 mon.agoI heard there was a Contortionist contest, so I entered myself.
And that won second place!
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