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2000 Best Dad Jokes for Family Gatherings – Instant Icebreaker!

Need to lighten the mood at family events? These dad jokes are guaranteed to get eye rolls… and laughter! Save this list for your next reunion.

avatar MrDagon007 3 day.agoA mortician was working late one night.
He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen! 'I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz,' the mortician commented, 'I can't allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must be saved for posterity.' So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home. 'I have something to show you won't believe,' he said to his wife, opening his briefcase. 'My God!' the wife exclaimed, 'Schwartz is dead!'
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avatar Immemike 3 day.agoWhat’s the difference between your dick and a bonus check?
Your wife is always willing to blow your bonus check.
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avatar PotentialTurnover335 4 day.agoWhat do a penis and a Rubik’s Cube have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
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avatar PotentialTurnover335 4 day.agoWhy do men name their dicks?
Because they don’t want a stranger making 90% of their decisions.
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avatar stereoroid 4 day.agoI asked my friend “do you think I will get lucky tonight?”
“No fucking chance”, he said.
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avatar KeyboardDemon 4 day.agoI went for a massage
It was a male masseur, during the massage I asked him, "Is it normal to get an erection during a massage?" He said, "Sure, it happens." I said, "Oh, well could you at least keep it out of my face".
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