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3000+ funny dad jokes good or bad here waiting for you. I tell dad jokes every day, sometimes dad laughs.

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avatar SonOfWestminster 19 day.agoWhat do call a tall skinny haircut on a cat?
A Kitty Hawk!
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avatar Mustardpopsicles 19 day.agoWhy couldn't the pornstar get steady paychecks?
Because their work always came in spurts.
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avatar jubishop 19 day.agoI keep trying to make up jokes about unemployed people
But none of them work
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avatar RowanFoxfire 19 day.agoI was called by God...
But I let it go to voice-mail..
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avatar lightcon_consumed 19 day.agoWhat do you call a cat that can turn into a potato?
A mew-tater!
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avatar Joel_Boyens 19 day.agoMy doctor said I have no chance of ever jumping again.
I'm completely hopless.
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avatar foolonthehill48 19 day.agoDid you know
That a lymph condition is walking with a lisp?
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avatar KJJM99 19 day.agoI start my new job tomorrow hanging mirrors
I’m really exited it’s something I can see myself doing
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avatar alanmitch34 19 day.agoWhere does pizza go to train for combat?
The doughjo of course
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avatar STICKFACE40 19 day.agoWhat is Hank Hill's rap name?
P. Pane. His entourage is The Accessories.
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avatar M4tchB0X3r 19 day.agoGod asks a mathematician if he would rather have a life of eternal bliss or a BLT.
The mathematician thinks for bit. Then looks at God and says "I'll have the BLT,.. thank you". Wtf,.. says a God. Why would you take the BLT??! You could have had eternal bliss and everything. The mathematician just leans in and says. You're right, nothing is better than a life of eternal bliss , but a BLT is better than nothing.
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avatar bricowatty 19 day.agoI would tell you a Chemistry joke.....
but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.
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avatar johhn3ooo 19 day.agoWhat do you call an adventurous motherfucker?
A womb rider.
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avatar sulldanivan 19 day.agoWhat does a boat get when it’s arrested.
A jury of its piers.
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avatar sulldanivan 19 day.agoSince my wife bought Bamboo sheets…
…I’ve been waking up craving Panda Express.
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avatar Amazing_Bike1985 20 day.ago"So how was the movie?" "Oh, it was mid-"
-sommar
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avatar Sea_Economics1032 20 day.agoI was at a party with my friend, where two people gave tats to people for free.
I came up to him after, and I said, “Hey, I got a face tat!”. He said, “Really? I got a face tat too!”
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avatar mynolathrowaway 20 day.agoDid you hear about the scarecrow who won the Nobel prize?
He was found to be out-standing in his field!
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avatar smechanic 20 day.agoTo the sick f*ck who put C next to X on the keyboard…
Thanks for making me ask my boss if she has a quick sex
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avatar asromatifoso 20 day.agoMy friend hosted Mystery Pasta Night
We all brought a different noodle to cook. I saw ditalini, mostaccio, a few others and he recognized them all. He came to mine and gave me a puzzled look. I said, "Ah, udon know this one!"
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