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avatar Mysterious-Diet9187 1 day.agoAs an interviewer, it's really hard for me to do a background check;
 I'm colorblind.
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avatar PortugalDoesntExist 1 day.agoHow does Lightning McQueen say hello and goodbye to Luigi and Guido?
Ka-ciao.
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avatar PortugalDoesntExist 1 day.agoI heard DC Comics is going to start their own version of Bitcoin.
It's going to be called Krypto-currency.
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avatar KyleLSmith 1 day.agoI had to return my pet snake since I only rented it for 3 months.
It was a Boa Contractor.
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avatar Pretty_Swordfish3149 1 day.agoThe lady at the chemist today, asked me did I want to try a new ball deodorant.
Some jokes write themselves, don’t make me finish it!
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avatar san-sirwan 1 day.agoWhy does Cristiano Ronaldo like oranges
because its full of vitamin SIUUUUUUUUUUU
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avatar Legitimate_Finger_69 1 day.agoThis tip MENSA don't want you to know!
Just checked my online IQ test and scored 264! And it only took three simple questions. If you want to cheat to get the printable MENSA membership card and certificate my answers were 1. 5433 6663 0267 6433 2. 12/28 3. 364
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avatar RecognitionHonest320 1 day.agoWhat has 150 teeth, and can hold back the incredible hulk?
My zipper
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avatar VordovKolnir 1 day.agoWhat does Sylvester Stalone use to put memory in his computer?
A RAM bow.
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avatar mommypanda35 1 day.agowhy are cowboys bad at math?
they're always rounding things up
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avatar berkleysquare 1 day.agoWhat do Egyptians call a massage therapist?
A Cairo-practor.
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avatar Punkermedic 1 day.agoMy son came to me and said "Dad did you know Tokyo is the most populated city?"
Me: I'm pretty sure it's Rio de Janeiro. Son: No it's Tokyo with 37 million Me: Yeah but Rios got a Brazilian Son: ...go away
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avatar CurvyNgorgeous 1 day.agoDid you hear about the fragile myth?
It was busted
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avatar Doomtickle 1 day.agoDid you know that all farts smelled the same in ancient Egypt?
They had a toot in common.
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avatar TemptingDoll 1 day.agoI found a book called "How to solve 50% of your problems?"
So I bought 2 books.
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avatar Margaret_Gero 1 day.agoWhat do you call the security guards for samsung?
Guardians of the galaxy
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avatar BarbaraAllene 1 day.ago"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" usually mean the same thing.
But not at a funeral.
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avatar Subsum44 1 day.agoDid you know Ozzy has his own brand of shampoo?
It’s in partnership with Johnson & Johnson & called No More Tears
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avatar Slowloris81 1 day.agoI went to the Cats’ musical afterparty but it was super awkward.
There were too many faux paws.
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avatar FalconOfFreedom 1 day.agoWhat does a mechanical frog say?
Rivet, rivet
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