akifafzal16 8 year.agoDon't Read If You're A Trump SupporterA Mexican kid meets Donald Trump and says to him, “I want to be President one day.”
Trump says, “Are you stupid? Are you an idiot? Out of your mind? Are you retarded?”
The kid replies, “You know what, I’ve changed my mind. Those are too many requirements.”
dave_brush014 4 year.agoA sixth grade teacher asks her class how many were Trump fans.A sixth grade teacher asks her class how many were Trump fans.
Despite them not knowing what a Trump fan was but wanting to be liked by the teacher, they all raised their hands. Well, all except for little Timmy.
The teacher looks over to little Timmy and asks, “Timmy, why are you being different again?”
He says, “well, because I’m not a Trump fan.”
“Why aren’t you a Trump fan?”
“Because I’m a democrat.”
The teacher snuffs and says, “oh really? Why are you a democrat?”
He responds, “well, my mom is a democrat, my dad is a democrat, so I’m a democrat.”
She then says, “Oh really? Then what if your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?”
Little Timmy smiles and says, “a Trump fan.”
6 year.agoA young Arab boy asks his father “What is that strange hat you are wearing?”
The father said: "Why, my son, it is a 'chechia.' In the desert it protects our heads from the intense heat of the sun.”
"And what is the long flowing robe you are wearing?” asked the boy.
“Oh, my son!” exclaimed the father “It is very simple. This is a 'djbellah.' As I have told you, in the desert it is not only very hot, but the sand is always blowing. My djbellah protects the entire body."
The son then asked: "But Father, what about those ugly shoes you have on your feet?”
"These are 'babouches' my son,” the father replied. You must understand that although the desert sands are very beautiful, they are also extremely hot. These babouches keep us from burning our feet."
"So tell me then," added the boy.
"Yes, my son…”
"Why are we living in Birmingham and still wearing all this shit?
yrthegood1staken 2 year.agoHow many Texas cops does it take to save children from an active shooter?Still under investigation.
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Edit: For those who assume I think any part of this situation is funny... [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black\_comedy](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_comedy). Also who gave me a Wholesome award? That's seriously messed up.
Edit 2: For those claiming it's "too soon"... I respectfully disagree, I think this is the perfect time. The pain won't ever go away for those families - there will never be a time when they'll think "Sure, it's been long enough - go ahead and laugh about it." However, the anger and shock felt by the general public will begin to fade as other news stories and other tragedies steal our attention. Better to elicit stronger emotions now and hopefully, in a tiny imperceptible way, increase the likelihood of meaningful change.
Queen-Ghidorah 7 year.agoAn atheist dies and goes to hell.The devil welcomes him and says:"Let me show you around a little bit."
They walk through a nice park with green trees and the devil shows him a huge palace. "This is your house now, here are your keys."
The man is happy and thanks the devil. The devil says:"No need to say thank you, everyone gets a nice place to live in when they come down here!"
They continue walking through the nice park, flowers everywhere, and the devil shows the atheist a garage full of beautiful cars. "These are your cars now!" and hands the man all the car keys. Again, the atheist tries to thank the devil, but he only says "Everyone down here gets some cool cars! How would you drive around without having cars?".
They walk on and the area gets even nicer. There are birds chirping, squirrels running around, kittens everywhere.
They arrive at a fountain, where the most beautiful woman the atheist has ever seen sits on a bench. She looks at him and they instantly fall in love with each other. The man couldn´t be any happier. The devil says "Everyone gets to have their soulmate down here, we don´t want anyone to be lonely!"
As they walk on, the atheist notices a high fence. He peeks to the other side and is totally shocked. There are people in pools of lava, screaming in pain, while little devils run around and stab them with their tridents. Other devils are skinning people alive, heads are spiked, and many more terrible things are happening. A stench of sulfur is in the air.
Terrified, the man stumbles backwards, and asks the devil "What is going on there?"
The devil just shrugs and says: "Those are the christians, I don´t know why, but they prefer it that way"
edit: fucked up punchline, thanks to u/Tjurit for pointing out
ruffthemup 5 year.agoNorth Koreans believe they live in the best country in the world because they’re brainwashed by the government and the media