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avatar Joel_Boyens 2 day.agoWhat do you call an entire civilization under the influence of weed?
High society.
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avatar Joel_Boyens 2 day.ago100% of your ass...
Is a hole.
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avatar FingergunArseholster 2 day.agoYo mama so dumb, when she praises the Lord, she shouts, ‘Hell yeah! Booyah!’
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avatar Joel_Boyens 2 day.agoWhat's the loudest American state?
Illinoise.
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avatar prlugo4162 2 day.agoThe Italian Space Agency is preparing to launch two satellites.
They're named ITSA-1 and ITSA-2.
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avatar Jeff7760 2 day.agoWhy does the Little Mermaid prefer to hang the alphabet vertically and not horizontally on her wall?
Because she likes most of the letters to be “Under the C.”
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avatar arlo78z 2 day.agoWhat's a frogs favorite sandwich?
Peanut bugger and jelly.
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avatar SynonymSpice 2 day.agoI may be slow, but…
I’m inefficient. And inaccurate.
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avatar Rock-Wall-999 2 day.agoDad Joke or Mechanical?
My new mechanic is French, doesn’t really make the effort he should. I have to check his work and I’m always telling him, “Too loose, La Trec!”
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avatar theemptyqueue 2 day.agoDid you hear about the politician backed by a cream cheese company?
He ran a schmear campaign.
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avatar almondjoyeee 2 day.agoDoes anyone know the address of the vein clinic?
I can’t remember exactly where it is but I think it’s Varicose.
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avatar theshrexpert 2 day.agoWhat does a spider made of butter live on?
A corn on the cob-web!
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avatar Madness_69 2 day.agoYo mama so old..
That she witnessed the sun being born.
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avatar Joel_Boyens 2 day.agoWhat do you call a trivial falsehood?
A faketoid.
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avatar Joel_Boyens 2 day.agoI heard of a basketball player that hooked up with his ex-girlfriend recently after they broke up.
They had rebound sex.
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avatar Barraken 2 day.agoA baseball dad joke
Q: What would you expect from a baseball player who brings a tube of toothpaste to the plate? A: >!The squeeze play.!<
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avatar Joel_Boyens 2 day.agoMy wife asked me if I was certain I wanted her to stitch and hem my clothing.
I said "yes, no, maybe sew."
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avatar CarlosDoesTheWorld 2 day.agoMy grandpa once told me, 'When people are mean to you, just kill them with kindness.' I thought that was sweet advice
Until I found out Kindness is the name of his gun.
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avatar Joel_Boyens 2 day.agoMy buddy was sad because he was caught inside a hole.
He was stuck in a depression.
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avatar AltruisticHopes 2 day.agoAs I am getting older I decided to do a philosophy course
Three weeks in the professor asks me how am I doing, I stared at him blankly and said “I know nothing” he congratulates me and says “Well done, you are really getting it”
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