AtumTheCreator 13 day.agoWhile on vacation in Israel...While on vacation in Israel, an American wife asks her husband, "If, I die here and it costs $30,000 to fly me home and bury me, or $2,000 dollars to bury me here, what would you do?"
To which the husband replies, "Well, I'd fly you home and bury you there."
"Why would you spend the extra money," she gasps.
"Well, because the only person I know that died in Israel, rose again 3 days later."
>!Happy Good Friday & Easter yall!!<
Banned_Opinions 14 day.agoAn elderly woman on a walker enters a sex shop...She heads over to the guy at the register and says, "D...d....dddddoo you sell any d...ddd...dildos?"
He says, "Uh, yes ma'am we do."
She replies, "D.dd..dd.do you have any dd.ddd.ddd..dd dildos that are p...ppp....pp..pink and t..t..tte. ten inches long?"
"Uh, yes ma'am we do."
"Well h...hhhh.how in the ffff...f.fff..fuck do you t.tttt.turn it off?"
Sonicmixmaster 14 day.agoA little boy wakes up 3 nights in a row when he hears a thumping
sound coming from his parents room.Finally one morning he goes to his mom and says, "Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making noises and when I looked in your bedroom you're bouncing up and down on him." His mom is taken by surprise and says, "Oh, well I'm bouncing on his stomach because he's fat and that makes him thin again." And the boy says, "Well, that won't work!" His mom says, "Why?!?" And the boy replies, "Because the lady next door comes by after you leave each day and blows him back up!"