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2000 Best Dad Jokes for Family Gatherings – Instant Icebreaker!

Need to lighten the mood at family events? These dad jokes are guaranteed to get eye rolls… and laughter! Save this list for your next reunion.

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avatar Effective-Meat-4204 3 day.agoApril is deaf history month.
You know, I never heard of it before.
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avatar glnb20 3 day.agoWhat does a baby computer call his father ?
Da-ta !
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avatar Careless_Spring_6764 3 day.agoSomeone asked me to be their online wife.
I ignored the dm, so we're halfway there.
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avatar germy-germawack-8108 3 day.agoHow do math teachers like their pi?
A la mode
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avatar Joel_Boyens 3 day.agoMy wife asked me why I insisted on having her wear high heels when we went out to the horror festival.
I said I wanted to keep her on her toes.
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avatar subsailor1968 3 day.agoWhat is a pirate's favorite stage play?
No, not "Pirates of Penzance", that's a musical. It's Arrrrrsenic and Old Lace.
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avatar Healthy_Ladder_6198 3 day.agoA sperm was undergoing training for conceptiom
His instructor said, 'When the siren goes off, rush out of the tunnel and swim until you find a red sticky ball. Address the ball and say "I'm a sperm" to which the ball will reply "I'm the egg". You will then work together to form the embryo. Do you understand?' The sperm nodded. Days later, the sperm was sleeping when he heard the siren. He was the first one out of the tunnel and the first to reach the sticky red ball. He was millimeters ahead of all his comrades. He bowed courteously and said: "I'm a sperm". The red sticky ball smiled and said: "Hi, I'm the tonsil"
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avatar SamwellBarley 3 day.agoMultiplying makes me numb...
...but multiplying by 2 makes me even number
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avatar bondjimbond 3 day.agoMade my child's eyes roll almost out of her skull with this one
I'm very proud of this off-the-cuff dad joke... My daughter is a ten-year-old who people think is 15. She's been at the 99th percentile for height her entire life. She normally eats like a horse, but for the last couple of days she hasn't finished her lunch. She says she's just not hungry. Me: "Maybe that means your growth is slowing down." Child: "That would be a relief." Me: "Why is that a relief?" Child: "Well, do YOU always like being tall?" Me: "Not always -- but being tall gets you a lot of respect." Child: "Why?" Me: "People really look up to you." She proceeded to chase me around the house trying to whack me on the head.
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avatar RecognitionHonest320 3 day.agoWhat did the three-legged dog say when he walked into the saloon?
I'm looking for the man who shot my paw
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