Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
Times_New_Ramen_ 4 year.agoA bus filled with 18 year old sheltered Catholic school girls drove off a cliff and they all died. So they all form a single file line in front of the gates of heaven and saint Peter says to the first girl "have you ever touched a man's penis?" And the girl says "yes but just with the tip of my finger" so saint Peter tells her to dip her finger into the holy water and she may pass into heaven. The next girls steps forward and Peter asks her the same question. She says "yes but only with my hand for a moment" so Peter tells her to dip her whole hand into the holy water and she may pass to heaven. Then suddenly one of the girls from the back of the line starts pushing everyone out of the way to get to the front of the line. Peter looks at her and says "what seems to be the problem?" And she says "Peter I just want to gargle some holy water before Jenny sticks her ass in it"
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She said “I’m just doing it for the money. It’s not that deep.”
This was the first time the 21 year-old had brought a man home to meet her parents. Her mother slaved over a hot stove all day, while the father cleaned the house and cut the grass. They both wore their best clothes and waited for their daughter. At 8pm they heard the doorbell ring. They opened the door and she was standing next to a huge man, full of tattoos, and a face that looked like it had been in every possible fight, with scars aplenty crossing his face. He looked like he beats people up for a living. After some hesitant pleasantries, the shocked parents take their daughter to the kitchen. "What the hell?" asked her mother, "Why would you date a guy like that, he looks like a thug!" "You've got him all wrong," the daughter replied, irritated, "He's an incredibly nice and charitable guy." "What makes you say that?" asked her father. "Well, just this month he spent 250 hours serving his community!"
It had all the stuff that a huge wedding needs...huge feast, country band, and dancing. The couple take off iñ a big Cadillac JUST MARRIED on the rear window and dragging tin cans. Later that night Jethro comes running back into the farmhouse. His Dad asks"what the hell are doing? You're supposed to be with your new wife celebrating ". Jethro says, "I tried Daddy, but I couldn't do it. Mary Sue told me that she's a virgin". Daddy put his arm around Jethro's shoulder and said, "well Son, you did the right thing. If she ain't good enough for her own family, she ain't good enough for ours":
The Bartender says, “Is this one tab or three?” They reply, “Yes.”
I guess I'm just experiencing dognitive kissonance.
The first little old lady has a stroke. Then the second little old lady has a stroke. The third little old lady would have had a stroke, but she couldn't reach him from her end of the bench.
I want mine to spell "Chernobyl first responder"
I guess the enzymes on the frog would go in the milk and keep it fresh. It was indentured servitoad.
..along with my ribs. She was genuinely rubbish at cpr.
God, I love working at the morgue.
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