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avatar SkullCrusher2118 1 year.ago

if you are what you eat then

I am an innocent man.

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. What do you call fake spaghetti?

An impasta.

2. I finally decided to end my relationship

My girlfriend has always refused to learn the names of vegetables even though it bothers me. She just asked me to pick up the purple, bulbous vegetable after work, I told her its aubergine!

3. Why did the pub owner decide to learn architecture?

Because he wanted to raise the bar.

4. I tricked a panda into eating.

It was bamboo-zled.

5. What do you call a root vegetable that's kind of cool?

Rad-ish

6. What country has the worst music?

Singapore.

7. Where can you find a discount savior?

Wal-Martyr

8. I burnt my Hawaiian pizza the other night.

I should have put it on Aloha setting

9. My extremely Type A wife was coughing and sneezing. I said, “It sounds like you’re getting sick.” She replied, “No, I’m not sick…”

“…I’m ill prepared.”

10. A guy came home early one day from work and heard weird sounds coming from the master bedroom.

When he went upstairs he found his wife on the bed, naked and sweating. "What the hell is going on?" he asked her. "I'm having a heart attack," she stammered. Her husband ran downstairs and dialled 911. As he was doing this, his young son ran up to him and said, "Dad, uncle Tom is upstairs hiding in the closet, and he's naked." The father slammed the phone down and ran back upstairs to find his brother. "What the hell are you doing?" he screamed at him, "My wife is having a heart attack, and you're running around naked, scaring the kids!"

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