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avatar Routine_Leading_4757 1 year.ago

Eating at subway is like prostitution.

You pay someone else to do your wife’s job!

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. A lawyer sold his well to an old man

Two days later, the lawyer came to the old man and said, "Sir, I sold you the well, but it's not with the water inside! If you want to use the water, you will have to pay extra." The old man smiled and replied, "Yes, I was about to come to you. I was going to say that you should take your water from my well, or else you will have to start paying rent from tomorrow."

2. My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing him...🕷️

....Went out. Had a few drinks. Nice guy. He's a web designer. 🕸️

3. My son asked if trees poop?

I said “of course, how do you think we get number two pencils?”

4. If I ever go to jail, my wife has my back for bail.

She never lets me finish a sentence.

5. Mortal Kombat was based on a Norwegian religious song.

A Finnish hymn.

6. Mortal Kombat was based on a Norwegian religious song.

A Finnish hymn.

7. I decided that I would host an "Emotion Party" get-together at my house...

The idea was you had to dress up as an emotion. The doorbell rings, and at the door was a guy dressed completely in blue. "What emotion are you supposed to be?" I asked. "Blue." He said, "I'm sad." Doorbell rings again a few minutes later, and there was a woman completely in green. "What emotion are you supposed to be?" I asked. "Green - I'm green with envy." She said. A few minutes later, the doorbell rings again. Standing there was a guy, completely naked, with a broken bottle up his ass. "Uh. What emotion are you supposed to be?" I asked. "Oh, me? I'm just fucking disgusting."

8. Yo mama so old, when you got her a new iPhone, she said "Where's the crank?"

9. I know a lot of jokes about retired people

But none of them work

10. Your mama is so stupid, she thought the San Francisco Giants was a rise in the gay community ☠️

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