"We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you." "Yes", she says, "I remember it well." OK, he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?" "Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!" A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them. The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground. The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know. After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is. So, as the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?" Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, "Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."
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I heard a rumor about butter, but I don't want to spread it. I had a joke about Pizza, but it's a little cheesy. Edit: Go ahead with alcohol jokes if you want. I won't wine about them.
It was a barber-queue.
They're both paid to study Dolphins.
Only God knows Y.
...so I went home.
She had a shellfish personality
I live next to an old man who clearly has advanced dementia. Every morning when I leave for work he asks me if I've seen his wife, and I have to tell him she died ten years ago. My girlfriend says why don't you just move away so you don't have to go through this every morning? I tell her I would miss the smile he gives me every morning when he hears it.
So i took her out for dinner and a movie, then dropped her off at her parents' house.
"Cancun. But I'm a little worried." "How come?" "Well, the last two vacations, my wife has ended up pregnant. Last year it was Las Vegas, and she got pregnant. The year before that it was Miami, and sure enough, she got pregnant." "Wow! You'd better take precautions this time!" "I'm planning on it. For starters, I'm taking her with me this year."
An epileptic oyster shucker shucks between fits.
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