jokeKing logo

Joker King - find funny jokes from here.

avatar honolulu_oahu_mod 5 year.agoSeveral centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal. He'd have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community...

If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy; if the Pope won, they'd have to convert or leave. The Jewish people met and picked an aged and wise Rabbi to represent them in the debate. However, as the Rabbi spoke no Italian, and the Pope spoke no Hebrew, they agreed that it would be a 'silent' debate. On the chosen day, the Pope and the Rabbi sat opposite each other. The Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers. The Rabbi looked back and raised one finger. Next, the Pope waved his finger around his head. The Rabbi pointed to the ground where he sat. The Pope brought out a communion wafer and a chalice of wine. The Rabbi pulled out an apple. With that, the Pope stood up and declared himself beaten and said that the Rabbi was too clever. The Jews could stay in Italy! Later the cardinals met with the Pope and asked him what had happened. The Pope said, "First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up a single finger to remind me there is still only one God common to both our beliefs. Then, I waved my finger around my head to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground to show that God was also right here with us. Finally, I pulled out the wine and wafer to show that God absolves us of all our sins. He pulled out an apple to remind me of the original sin. He bested me at every move and I could not continue!" Meanwhile, the Jewish community gathered to ask the Rabbi how he had won. "I don't have a clue!!!" the Rabbi said. "First, he told me that we had three days to get out of Italy, so I gave him the finger. Then he tells me that the whole country would be cleared of Jews, so I told him that we were staying right here." "And then what?" asked a woman. "Who knows!!" said the Rabbi. "He took out his lunch, so I took out mine!"

32306
508
Recommend Jokes

Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. What did the two day old baby say to the one day old baby?

I was not born yesterday!

2. My dad told my mom that for Easter breakfast, we should only have frozen prepackaged waffles because thats what he wanted. I said…

Thats pretty Eggotistical of you

3. What did the dog say when it ate too much?

"Barf Barf!"

4. The flamingo won the race!

You could say he had a leg up.

5. Why are many lesbians still attracted to Dwayne Johnson

Because Rock beats scissors.

6. What did Spartacus say when the lion ate his wife?

Nothing. He was gladiator.

7. Did you know you can get pasta shaped like grains of rice?

Orzo I’ve been told…

8. What is needed to play the rap version of many board games?

Just a Gangsters pair o' dice

9. How do you tell the sex of an ant?.

Drop it in a glass of water. If it sinks, girl ant. If it floats, boyant.

10. What do you call a Mexican who lost his protein powder?

No whey Jose

11. I told my wife today that I have the same birthday as Adolf Hitler. She said, "It's crazy to think that such a disgusting loathsome figure, who ruined the lives of so many people....

.... shares the same birthday as Adolf Hitler."

12. What did the scarf say to the hat?

You go on a head, ill hang around right here

13. Last Easter, Jesus gave me a rose. Guess what he gave me this Easter?

Rose, again.

14. Whenever someone asks me to sing in a very high pitch, I fake it by lip synching.

It's my false-etto voice.

15. What do you call a scientist who studies Sea Cows?

A Moo-rine Biologist.

16. What does the Grinch do with a baseball bat?

He hits a gnome run

17. What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?

Carlos!

18. What do French hedgehogs see on Groundhog Day?

Their chateau.

19. You know the German government hired a bunch of gymnasts from Prague?

Yeah, they wanted a system of Czechs and Balances.

20. I told my students that if they can get a job working with and fixing water pumps...

They'll always live well.

21. How do chimp chefs keep themselves clean?

They put an apron

22. I applied to be the next pope

Fingers crossed!! Whoops, I mean crucified!

23. My wife told me that I should embrace my mistakes

I gave her a hug

24. Why do snakeskin clothes never last long?

It's because people always throw hissyfits

25. The electrical wiring on the ISS is really sketchy.

None of the circuits run to ground.

26. What does a clone say to acknowledge the receipt of a command?

Copy that.

27. My nagging wife died suddenly on a trip to Jerusalem ..

Funeral director, "Sir, it would cost about £25,000 if we send her home back to the UK or £500 if we bury her here in Jerusalem." Me:"Ship her home." Funeral director: "But sir, why don't you bury her here in the Holy Land and you can save money." Me: "A long time ago a man was buried here and 3 days later he rose from the dead, I can't take that chance."

28. I asked my wife why do we keep so much loose change around the house...

After she explained it to me it made cents

29. what do sperm and lawyer have in common?

one in 3 million can be a human

30. Why did the snooty little rich girl come out of the hairsalon looking like Tarzan?

The princess ordered a mountain do.

more jokes Here waiting for you

best dad jokesjokes for adult
Welcome to Joker King – Your Daily Dose of Happiness!

Here, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!

Feeling down? Click in—guaranteed smiles! 😆