fuloveit 1 day.agoTom's scrotumThe pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers. Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him." (You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagine the pain that poor Tom must have experienced.) "Tom was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain." We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place." (Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirm uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Tom.) "Now," she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Tom is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely." (All the men sighed with unified relief.) The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say. A man slowly stood up and walked just as slowly to the podium. He said, "I'm Tom Smith." The entire congregation held its breath. "I just want to tell my wife -- the word is sternum."
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So I pushed him back and burned the closet to the ground.
Oh, so he’s good at laying pipe?
tell a joke
When she pulls out the tampon all the cotton has been picked
Whats the difference questions are actually funny.
If they’re flat they get skipped
Jesus doesn't have Mexicans tattooed all over him.
It only takes one nail to hang a picture of Jesus.
A tree makes good paper
I don’t fuck with either of them
What the hell
because millions of planets and stars have spent billions of years lining themselves up just to let her know that she'll "meet someone with nice eyes today."
Doctors have given her only two decades to live.
One is a president with a mild..... major retardation, and the other is dying from liver failure. Horrible joke? I know.....
It doesn't last long for fat people. Old but gold.
So blind people can hate em too
Because Japan hunts whales. Credit where credit is due I found this in the comment section of Dr Shaym’s video 50 Female Privileges. It was written by Sean Strozewski.
The leaf, the rope stops the emo.
You don't get scared by Foxy when he comes out of the closet.
But it is definitely not a given.
dying alone.
200 years ago, guillotines did the trick.
Santa goes *down* the chimney.
She was later for her flying lesson with John Denver
The real killer is his PPE didn’t fit.
I'm not scared of faggots in the least bit, I just really hate them.
It was a heartwarming experience for the both of us.
Neither of them have killed you yet
Isn’t it ironic that Eid al-Fitr sounds like Adolf Hitler?
more jokes Here waiting for you
best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
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