Why is it so easy to get a meeting at a Jeep dealership?

How am I supposed to know what to do with it now?

So a Japanese, English, and Australian man are captured by a group of cannibals when out in the jungle. The cannibals' leader says "We will make jackets from your skin, but we shall let you choose how you'll die." So the Japanese man asks for a katana, and stabs himself in the heart. The English man asks for a pistol, and puts it to his head. He says "God Save the King!" before pulling the trigger. The Australian man asks for a plastic fork. Confused, the cannibals give it to him. The Australian man starts stabbing at himself in all directions for nearly 5 whole minutes. Before bleeding out, he says "Fuck your stupid jackets!"

Because of the sand which is there.

"I just miss the passion and drive we used to have in our early twenties," the wife explained. The friend thought for a moment and reached into her purse to pull out a bottle of pills. "My husband and I were in a similar slump a few months ago, but these really helped. Just crush it up and put it in his morning coffee and I promise it will spice things up." The wife takes the pills eagerly and they finish their meetup before parting ways. A few days later, they meet up again and the wife throws the pill bottle back at her friend. "What happened? It didn't work?" The friend asked. "Oh it worked alright," said the wife, fuming. "I crushed it up and put it in his coffee, just like you said. He barely even finished his cup before he pounced on me, threw me on the table, and made wild, passionate love to me like never before." "Then I don't understand; why are you upset?" "Because we can NEVER go back to that Starbucks again."

A female teacher was having a problem with a boy in her class of 3rd grade. The boy said "Ma'am, I should be in 4th grade, Ï'm smarter than my sis & she's in the 4th grade". The M'am {Teacher} had heard enough of his complains & took the boy to the Principal's office. She explained everything to the Principal who decided to test the boy with some questions that a 4th grade should know. * *Principal: What's 3+3?* Boy: 6 * *Principal: 6+6?* Boy: 12 & so on.. The Principal asked the boy many questions and the boy got them right. The Principal then asked M'am to send the boy to 4th grade. M'am decided to ask some more questions & the Principal agreed. 1. *M'am: What does a cow have 4 of,that Ï've only 2 of?* Boy: Legs 2. *M'am: What's in ur pants that u have but I don't have?* Boy: Pockets 3. *M'am: What starts with a C & ends with T, is hairy, oval, delicious & contains thin whitish liquid?* Boy: Coconut 4. *M'am: What goes in hard & pink then comes out soft & sticky?* The principal's eyes open really wide, but before he could stop the answer, the boy was taking charge. Boy: Bubble Gum 5. *M'am: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up, I get wet before you do. What am I?* Boy: Tent. The principal was looking restless 6. *M'am: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me 1st; what am I?* Boy: Wedding Ring 7. *M'am: I come in many sizes. When Ï'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good?* Boy: Nose 8. *M'am: I've a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates, I come with a quiver* Boy: Arrow 9. *M'am: What starts with 'F' & ends with a 'K' & if u dont get it, u've to use ur hand?* Boy:Fork 10. *M'am: Whats it that all men have,it's longer in some men than others, the Pope doesn't use his & a man gives it to his wife after marriage?* Boy: Surname 11. *M'am: What part of the man has no bone, but has muscles with a lot of veins like pumpin & is responsible for making love?* Boy: Heart The principal breathed a sigh of relief & told the teacher "Send the boy to University, I got the last 10 questions wrong myself!"

Rumour has it that Elon Musk and Bill Gates are creating a new drug for penis enlargement. It’s called Elongates. And it cures a condition called Microsoft!!

“I always worry when you go on a business trip,” the wife confided to her husband. “Don’t worry, dear,” he replied, “I’ll be back sooner than you realize and when you least expect it.” “I know,” she said, and then to herself, ‘*That’s what worries me*.’

Its a Miss Steak not to eat a Sir Loin!

Beware when writing your order « Hello i want to buy your Kurds! -Sir we only sell cheese, not Kurds, you will have to call saddam hussein for that! »

I'll let you know