Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
TheDeathOmen 6 year.agoAfter all the background checks, interviews and testing were completed, they had narrowed the field down to 3 possible agents. For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. 'We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances.' Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair... we need you to kill her' The man said, 'You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife.' The agent said, 'Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home.' The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, 'I tried, but I can't kill my wife.' The agent said, 'You don't have what it takes. Take your wife home.' Finally, the last man was given the same instructions, to kill his wife. He took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the man, wiping the sweat from his brow. 'Some idiot loaded the gun with blanks' he said. 'I had to strangle that bitch to death'.
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But there's no point.
A farmer has a cow with horrible diarrhea and can't figure out how to make it stop, so they call the top scientists in the area, and three respond. One suggests a diaper, but the other two dismiss the idea as preposterous. The second suggests using the results as fertilizer, but the third points out that this does not resolve the problem. The third comes up with the solution, and they all agree, a large plug. This solution works for a while until the cow begins to expand from all the compacted feces. The three scientists decide that the best solution would be to train a monkey to go in and retrieve the plug so as to avoid human injury. Later, at the hospital, the doctors ask the scientists what they remember of what happened. The first scientist describes the horrible, unbearable smell. The second scientist recalls the feeling of being drenched in thousands of pounds of cow diarrhea. When the doctor gets to the third scientist, they say, "All I remember is the poor monkey trying to put the plug back in!" Credit to u/thraway4242
General Hysteria
But I tell them, that's just another word for 'fascinating'.
But it wouldn't work
One's a podcast, the other's a cod past.
I told him sure. My door is always open.
The Kelp Desk.
The Kelp Desk.
"Don't shoot, comrades!"
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best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
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