scotcheggy 8 year.agoThis is the dirty joke my 85yo grandad told to our whole family by memoryA male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier. He said to the female whale, "Lets both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink." They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank. Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore. The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female, "Let's swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore." At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him. "Look," she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen." Edit: I think it's bad that I'm more excited watching this get ups that I was about the whole of Christmas
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I’d rather be a fruit than a vegetable.
A firecracker
A flamongo .
...they treat food recipes like sex, they keep it in the family.
Ooga Boogaloo
A bath bomb
So I just burned her for good
Your dads dick tastes funny
Her miscarriage
'You know what? You are a better fuck than our moter' She says: 'Yes, I know, dad told me that.'
We have to give props to kobe, I mean he was the only black father to take their kids with him
Your computer doesn't freak out when you accidentally cum on it.
Because at night the sky is dark
Cracker with cheese
At least we know why he kept making all those child prodigy videos now
Me and my sister were talking to my baby sister and I jokingly said”do you understand me” after talking. So my sister (not baby sister) says,“I don’t think she speaks weirdo”. So I said,”then why are you talking to her”. And she was so shocked and grumpy she didn’t talk to me for a while.
A woman with no rights
They vote
Cause they’ve got a lot on their chest
At least 600,000 babies per year would disagree.
Ginger Ale
Her mom follows her into the basement and doesn’t see the body. “April fools!” The little girl exclaims, “he did it in the garage!”
For example, when you shove them down the stairs.
If you missed the showing in Seattle, don't worry, you can still catch it in Atlanta, Minneapolis, NY, Portland, and More TBD.
It was then that dave found out that his wife who had Alzheimer's had progressed so badly that she forgot her husband
"Me-Don't Worry, It'll End Soon." "Me-Ok, Ok, That's The Last One fr." Next Week- Everyone, Crying, In The Graveyard.
Go stand in front of a mirror
An adoption agency
On an unrelated note, Charlie Daniels wasn’t that good at the violin.
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