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avatar OZFox42 2 day.ago

An elderly woman appears in court.

Defence Lawyer: *"Ma'am, will you please state your age?"* Little Old Lady: *"I am 86 years old."* Defence Lawyer: *"Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?"* Little Old Lady: *"There I was, sitting in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me."* Defence Lawyer: *"Did you know him?"* Little Old Lady: *"No, but he sure was friendly."* Defence Lawyer: *"What happened after he sat down?"* Little Old Lady: *"He started to rub my thigh."* Defence Lawyer: *"Did you stop him?"* Little Old Lady: *"No, I didn’t stop him."* Defence Lawyer: *"Why not?"* Little Old Lady: *"It felt good. Nobody had done that to me since my husband died 30 years ago."* Defence Lawyer: *"What happened next?"* Little Old Lady: *"He began to rub my breasts."* Defence Lawyer: *"Did you stop him then?"* Little Old Lady: *"No, I did not stop him."* Defence Lawyer: *"Why not?"* Little Old Lady: *"It made me feel alive. I haven’t felt that good in years!"* Defence Lawyer: *"What happened next?"* Little Old Lady: *"Well, by then, I was feeling a little hot and bothered, so I asked him to come closer."* Defence Lawyer: *"And did he?"* Little Old Lady: *"Well, he came closer.... and then yelled, 'April Fools!' That’s when I shot the bastard."*

nsfw

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