In Ancient Rome, there were 4 types of poisons. Poisons I, II, and III would kill you instantly.

When he denied it, she responded "you herd me"

While still lying in bed, the wife turned to her husband, and said, "Maybe you shouldn't go to work today." "What do you mean? Why shouldn't I go to work today?" replied the confused husband. "I think you've been working too hard, so maybe instead of going to the office, you should take a few days off, pack a suitcase, and go stay with a friend for a few days away from home." The husband thought for a moment and decided to jump at the suggestion before it was forgotten. Within moments, he was up, dressed, and started packing clothes into a bag. "Just out of curiosity," the husband asked while getting ready, "how did you come to the conclusion that I've been working so hard that I need a break?" "You were dreaming about your work all night," the wife answered. "Really? How do you know I was having dreams about work?" he asked. "Because every 2 minutes you were shouting your secretary's name!"

He says "No and **why the fuck** would you ask me that? Is it because I am Japanese?" "No", I said, "It's because you're drinking my beer, you little fucker."

The organ is encased in bone.

I feel it's only fitting since everyone on my job says that he's a mutha...

Some questions we will never know the answer to. Like why is it whenever someone farts they are always a) behind me, and b) gone by the time I turn around? My kids love this, by which I mean they groan and say "Stop it, Dad!"

He pointed and said take that Long and Winding road.

Sam sung.

Whatever you like, it's no like his hearing is any better...

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