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avatar BreakApprehensive489 4 day.ago

The sheep was trying to break up with her controlling border collie boyfriend.

When he denied it, she responded "you herd me"

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In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

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1. A mentally challenged guy had sex with multiple women and left without saying goodbye.

Talk of the town was that the nut screws and bolts.

2. What's the difference between kinky and perverted?

KInky you use a feather, perverted you use the whole chicken.

3. A schizophrenic, a priest and a cat walk into a bar

Schizophrenic order a pint of beer, the priest orders a glass of wine. The cat being unable to decide turns to priest for suggestion. The priest turns to schizophrenic and asks him "How is it possible this cat can talk? " To which the schizophrenic answers "It's not possible because none of this is real. I have schizophrenia. The cat, you and this whole bar is a delusion". Priest, visibly relieved says "That's a relief, for a second there I thought I'm losing my mind"

4. I like most math jokes...

...but jokes about graphing functions? That's where I draw the line.

5. What three words do you never want to hear when you're making love?

Honey I'm home!

6. Curiosity

The main cause of divorce is marriage.

7. Why are ghosts so bad at telling lies?

>!because they are transparent!<

8. My vegan friend is named Hunter

But I call him Gatherer

9. Kate Perry Sneezed

Did you hear that Kate Perry sneezed? Someone said God bless you, and now she calls herself pope.

10. What did the yellow bird say to the green bird?

>!nothing, birds don't talk!<

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