Blind date

So he decides to test this theory. He convenes all the couples he can find at a special seminar. He then starts by asking the many people in the audience. “How many people here make love once a day?” Half the people raise their hands, each of them grinning widely. “Once a week?” A third of the audience members raise their hands, their grins a bit less vibrant. "How many of you make love once a month?” A few hands tepidly go up. No grins could be sighted. “OK, how about once a year?” To his shock, one man in the back jumps up and down, jubilantly waving his hands and whistling. The therapist is shocked - this man's reaction completely disproves his theory! “If you make love only once a year,” he asks, “why are you so happy?” The man shouts: "Today’s my birthday!”

I've never paid $20 to have a lentil on my face.

We had to go get him.

She's not your friend anymore

You sheet metal

He had just been to see his Mistress, and he was strapped for cash.

Not sure why they didn't figure it out after they married their first two cousins.

He won the 'no-bell' prize.

Sumer funny, Sumer not.

Provalone