What did the baby chicken say when his mom laid an orange?

A father figure.

**Because they can't reach it on their own.**

People are lined up for blocks!

Johnny was a truck-driver, and had been partying hard all night long. Maybe too hard - because every girl in the dive-bar he was at, that he had tried to strike up a conversation with, had just turned their back on him. It was late, yet Johnny was still horny - but was down to his last five bucks. So he decided to try and find an affordable prostitute. He went down to the lowest end of a certain street, where he knew the cheapest ladies of the night were to be found. It was down by the highway, near to a truckstop. The first one he propositioned, asked for 25 bucks, and when he offered her five – she just laughed at him and walked away. The second one he talked to, wanted 15 bucks, and almost turned him away. She looked at his wristwatch, and said the if he threw in the watch, she’d do it. But Johnny had inherited the inexpensive timepiece from his beloved father, and said: No Way. She started to turn away. But as she was a kind woman, she said that he could ask the old whore that hung out down by the petrol-station. She’ll might go for five, she said, but be aware that she’s been doing this for a long, long time, and may be a bit worn. Johnny was still horny as hell, and went and found this old hag leaning against the large cab of an eighteen-wheeler. Listen lady, said Johnny, I’m really horny, but I only have five bucks. She looks him up and down, and says, yeah you’re good - please step into my office. She proceeds to open the door of the cab of the eighteen-wheeler, and climbs in the back where the bed is. And quickly undresses Johnny slams the door behind him and also undresses quickly As they lay there, he touched her pussy and put two fingers in Then three. Then five……and then his whole hand. Then his underarm - the wristwatch passed in easily. After he got the whole arm in – he went in with the other arm….just as far He then widened the opening so that he could get both his shoulders and his head in. Looking around, he could see a man walking around in the distance, and shouted Hey man, what are you doing? The man jumps, and then screams: Are you crazy - get the fuck out of here – I’ve been trying to find my eighteen-wheeler for days now!

Great Expectations.

We just clicked.

And now they’ve added May 6 as Revenge of the Sixth. But there is nothing for tomorrow. I find their lack of Eighth disturbing.

Problem was, it was the only gorilla in the zoo because it wasn’t very profitable. The gorilla was by far the most popular attraction, and they couldn’t afford to go a single day without it. So the zoo owner came up to me and said, "For an extra $100 a day, do you want to put on this gorilla costume until we can afford a new one?" Of course, I said yes. Pretty quickly, I became the biggest hit at the zoo. Everyone wanted to see the human-like gorilla. About a month later, the craze started to die down, but they kept pressuring me to get people’s attention again. So, in a desperate attempt, I climbed over to where the lions were and started hanging off the net. Suddenly, this massive crowd gathered, and everyone looked terrified. I could feel my grip slipping — I couldn't hold on any longer. I started screaming, "Help! Help!" — and then I fell. The lion rushed toward me, and just as I thought it was over, he leaned in and whispered, "Shut the fuck up before we all get fired."

is a huge missed steak

UCLA