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avatar camelsgottahump 18 day.ago

There was a small boy in a tribe...

There was a small boy in a tribe. He went to the chief and asked him how they named the children. The chief said, "We name you after the first thing we see after you are born. Your brother is Soaring Eagle because we saw an eagle and your sister is Running Deer because we saw a deer. Why do you ask, Two Dogs Fucking?"

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In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. Did you hear about when Ash’s Pikachu lost its last battle?

It bit off more than it could “Chu”!

2. A man enters a confession booth

"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned." "Go on, my child, you may confess." replies the priest "Everyday for the last 6 days, I have been sleeping with women who are not my wife." "I see, and this brings you guilt?" "No-- I mean yes father, they are very hot." "And you find them more attractive than your wife?" "Of course not, my wife is also smoking hot; but I digress, Father, how may I be forgiven?" "Hmm... Squeeze 10 lemons or limes and drink the juice." "Right away, Father, and will that absolve my sins?" "No, but it will hopefully wipe that stupid grin off your face!"

3. What did Will Smith say to the cannibal?

"Get my wife out yo damn mouth!"

4. YO MAMA SO FAT SHE IDENTIFIES AS SKINNY!!!!!!

5. YO MAMA SO FAT SHE EATS WATER FOR CHRISTMAS!!!!! YO MAMA SO STUPID SHE THOUGHT YO MAMA WAS RAN BY A JOE!!!! GEGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!

6. What do you call a fan of vintage porn?

A retrobate.

7. I keep exercise equipment in my home to make it look like I work out.

It's an elliptical illusion

8. I dated a girl with one leg.

She was a waitress at Ihop.

9. How does a hamburger introduce his girlfriend?

"Meat Patty!"

10. What happens if you sit on a nut?

The nut can get cracked.

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