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avatar berkleysquare 5 day.ago

I just finished writing my autobiography but I can't seem to get anybody to publish it.

That's the story of my life!

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. I got into an argument with an amputee who said everyone else is so entitled.

I told him he doesn’t have a leg to stand on.

2. Why do the numbers 1 through 12 work the hardest?

They're always on the clock.

3. I was admitted to the hospital last night after an incident at the grocery store.

Several boxes of Kleenex fell off the shelf and hit me in the face. There was a lot of Soft Tissue damage.

4. My beautician asked if I wanted a facial yesterday....

The fact she never stopped talking about football and cars should have been a warning sign.

5. Are you from Ireland?

Cause when I look at you, my penis is dublin

6. Why don't sharks attack lawyers?

It's out of professional courtesy.

7. It’s a five minute walk to the pub from my house

It’s a 35 minute walk to my house from the pub The difference is staggering

8. I asked a girl for consent

It was a touching proposal.

9. Photons have mass?

I didn't even know they were Catholic

10. Did you hear about the scientist that hates negative numbers?

He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.

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