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avatar mrskullhead 7 day.ago

What did Scar say when the mechanic fixed his car horn?

"Beep repaired."

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. The sheep was trying to break up with her controlling border collie boyfriend.

When he denied it, she responded "you herd me"

2. A married couple woke up one morning.

While still lying in bed, the wife turned to her husband, and said, "Maybe you shouldn't go to work today." "What do you mean? Why shouldn't I go to work today?" replied the confused husband. "I think you've been working too hard, so maybe instead of going to the office, you should take a few days off, pack a suitcase, and go stay with a friend for a few days away from home." The husband thought for a moment and decided to jump at the suggestion before it was forgotten. Within moments, he was up, dressed, and started packing clothes into a bag. "Just out of curiosity," the husband asked while getting ready, "how did you come to the conclusion that I've been working so hard that I need a break?" "You were dreaming about your work all night," the wife answered. "Really? How do you know I was having dreams about work?" he asked. "Because every 2 minutes you were shouting your secretary's name!"

3. I was standing at an airport bar in an international departures when this small Japanese guy comes in, stands next to me, and starts drinking a beer. I asked him, "Do you know any of those martial arts things, like Karate or Ju-Jitsu?"

He says "No and **why the fuck** would you ask me that? Is it because I am Japanese?" "No", I said, "It's because you're drinking my beer, you little fucker."

4. Brain surgery is the hardest because:

The organ is encased in bone.

5. I'm giving my boss a Mother's Day card...

I feel it's only fitting since everyone on my job says that he's a mutha...

6. The farting conundrum

Some questions we will never know the answer to. Like why is it whenever someone farts they are always a) behind me, and b) gone by the time I turn around? My kids love this, by which I mean they groan and say "Stop it, Dad!"

7. I asked Paul mcCartney for directions to the Abbey Rd studios.

He pointed and said take that Long and Winding road.

8. What did Sam do when he went to Korea?

Sam sung.

9. What do you call a blind fish?

Whatever you like, it's no like his hearing is any better...

10. What do you call a werewolf youtuber?

Lycansubscribe

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