Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
000700707 9 day.agoLong: A man boards an airplane headed cross country from Miami to California. He gets comfortable, hoping the seat beside him remains empty. Instead, a drop dead gorgeous woman sits beside him. Once the flight gets going, he strikes up the courage to speak to her. “Hi, how are you doing,” he asks. “What’s your name?” She replies with a smile and says, “Hello. I’m Veronica.” “Where are you headed,” he responds. “LA. I’m part of a group that meets up every year for a week long sex convention.” Interested, the man sits up a little straighter. “Oh… what do you do there?” “Well, for a week straight we have amazing sex with whoever we want, however we want, and for as long as we can.” “Wow. Well that sounds fun. Let me ask you a question, if you could have any type of man, what sort of guy do you like?” “I like Native Americans. They’re strong and can go all day and all night.” “Say there aren’t any Native Americans, what sort would be your second choice,” he asks. “I like Jewish men,” she replies. “Interesting, why’s that?” “Well, they know how to spoil a woman. They like to spend money on me and buy expensive jewelry for me.” Pressing, he asks again, “Let’s say you’re down to your third choice. What sort of man would you choose?” “I like rednecks. They’re passionate and lots of fun.” She then asks him a question. “I’ve been talking about myself and I don’t even know your name.” “Oh,” he replies, “I’m Tonto Goldstein, but you can call me Bubba.”
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In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!
She said she loved the trip, but admitted it wasn't what she was thinking when she asked him to use his big rocket to send her to heaven.
It was thought the text was originally about milk, but then someone accidentally left it sitting in the sun
which is technically the least. It isn't really helpful though, since I can only tell if it is on or off.
Now they're experimenting with busses, trains and airplanes to run on thyme!
Wales
but never has 5 letters.
Without the rachet. You can play it with or without Annette
What can I say, it's a gift!
But she wouldn't duet.
"Daylight Saving Time. Seriously. 'Daylight Savings Time.' Where... where are these savings? I've been looking! I check my bank account, nothing. I check my couch cushions, maybe a few quarters, but no extra hours of sunshine. They say we 'spring forward.' So, is it like a layaway plan? We give them an hour now, and... what, we get it back later? With interest? Because frankly, the interest rate on that hour seems terrible. I feel like I'm losing money on this deal. And who is the bank of Daylight Savings, anyway? Is there a branch? Can I walk in and be like, 'Yes, I'd like to make a withdrawal from my daylight account please. I had a really cloudy Tuesday, and I need about 3 hours of premium, golden-hour light.' Can you imagine the customer service? 'Thank you for calling Daylight Savings Bank, how can I brighten your day?' 'Yes, hi, my name is John Doe, and I seem to be missing an hour from my balance. It just... disappeared on Sunday.' 'Ah yes, sir, that was the automatic 'spring forward' debit. It's in the terms and conditions, tiny print, scroll all the way down.' 'So when do I get it back?' 'Uh, sometime in the fall? Maybe? Depends on the market fluctuations of... atmospheric pressure and perceived leisure time.' And don't even get me started on the 'falling back.' We fall back? Sounds dangerous. Like the daylight savings bank just trips and drops your hour somewhere. 'Oops! Sorry folks, we had a little 'fall back,' we'll just... sweep this hour under the rug until next year.' It's the only savings plan I know where the government just takes an hour, promises to give it back later, and everyone just collectively shrugs and says, 'Well, I guess I'm just tired now.' I say, if we're gonna have Daylight Savings, let's open a proper account. Get a debit card. Tap to pay for extra time at the park! 'Yeah, just gonna need about 45 minutes of evening glow here, run it through the Daylight Savings terminal.' Until then, I'm still waiting for my statement. Pretty sure my balance is zero, maybe even negative."
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